Abortion

[dazzilitchigirl]

My opinion stays the same, and this opinion is that both men and women that were never pregnant before should have no word here.

Most pregnant women have a phase when they just don't want to be pregnant anymore and the stress linked with it doesn't help either them nor the child.

If women don't want to be pregnant, I don't think they should get pregnant, and yes, there are ways of making certain that you don't.

• Both male and female using contraception. If they do this, it is almost impossible that both contraception methods will fail.
  
• Simply not having sex. If it's teenage pregnancy that's causing most abortions, why are teenagers getting pregnant anyway? People may disagree with me on this, but I don't think that should be happening.
  

 

[Jhud]

You probably don't really understand the aspect of sexuality yet. Sex indeed is fun, but teens sometimes don't realize why is it dangerous if they don't protect themselves. And guys often press girls to that, because sex is not always enjoyable to us girls. If we are not prepared down there, it hurts. Hurts a lot. Things can get teared up without proper lubrication, or there are just days in our cycle where it's just not time to have sex. Guys often don't understand it, they think it's just a hole and nothing else...

Do you know what actually hymen is? People often think that it breaks, but it doesn't break (usually...). Hymen has holes and they just stretch out with each insertion... and it takes a lot of work to actually stretch these out so it doesn't hurt like hell.

What woman needs to enjoy the sex:

- warmth

- foreplay

- starting out slow

- some longer stimulation

and so on... meanwhile what do guys need? A somewhat warm hole. That's all.

And rapists don't play a game of foreplay, they just insert something big (mind you... if the vagina is not stretched enough, even a thumb can hurt) and hard and push, then finish inside and leave a woman like this. In pain, bleeding, God knows what else...

Back to the topic of teenage sex... If you are too scared to buy condoms, you are not mature enough to have sex, I'm sorry. At least vaginal one... Anal sex, though painful and... "disgusting" (if people know how to prepare themselves, it's not dirty.), is also an option, but needs more patience to be done and lube. Oral sex is also always there after all...

...I think I got a little graphic there, sorry about that. I hope it's okay, as the topic itself is controversial and what I just wrote is on the same level as what they probably would tell you on the sex ed classes...

Anyway... Just imagine how a raped woman has to feel, and then to add to that sometimes lack of support (telling her that it's her fault, that she was provoking the rapist and other ********, etc), even getting kicked out from the family...

And what suddenly happens? Pregnancy. Just a little bit of stress can screw up everything, both the mother's mind and risk the child...

...Is it all worth it? Do you realize how dangerous pregnancy is? It's not just having a big belly, occasional back pain and morning sickness...

And the unborn child just won't be here before it realizes it.

And if mother will regret it... It's only her concern.

 

[katie_bug]

I am pro-choice. But don't give me this can't afford the child, don't want the child, bull snit. There is something called adoption.. Now if you just don't want to have it in you at all*clap clap* but if you don't have a problem having it there are tons of couples looking for babies. Now if I was raped or to become pregnant by both control failure...

 

[Stefan Bauwens]

Yes, just because you were harmed(not killed) gives you the right to KILL something? No, I disagree.

I however, am of the opinion, that if the mother has a big death risk because of her baby, that'll most likely die anyway, that she should get the choice to not do an abortion. I rather have 1 alive then both dead. But else, if the baby does not have a risk to die, but the mother does, I would not allow the baby to be killed, I think.

Yes, you may call that pro-choice is some way, but I still consider myself pro-life, since I'm talking about ways to save the baby's life, or at least the mothers'.

Nowadays, people just kill their babies, because they don't want them, etc.. which I think is wrong.

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

You probably don't really understand the aspect of sexuality yet. Sex indeed is fun, but teens sometimes don't realize why is it dangerous if they don't protect themselves. And guys often press girls to that, because sex is not always enjoyable to us girls. If we are not prepared down there, it hurts. Hurts a lot. Things can get teared up without proper lubrication, or there are just days in our cycle where it's just not time to have sex. Guys often don't understand it, they think it's just a hole and nothing else...

Do you know what actually hymen is? People often think that it breaks, but it doesn't break (usually...). Hymen has holes and they just stretch out with each insertion... and it takes a lot of work to actually stretch these out so it doesn't hurt like hell.

What woman needs to enjoy the sex:

- warmth

- foreplay

- starting out slow

- some longer stimulation

and so on... meanwhile what do guys need? A somewhat warm hole. That's all.

And rapists don't play a game of foreplay, they just insert something big (mind you... if the vagina is not stretched enough, even a thumb can hurt) and hard and push, then finish inside and leave a woman like this. In pain, bleeding, God knows what else...

Back to the topic of teenage sex... If you are too scared to buy condoms, you are not mature enough to have sex, I'm sorry. At least vaginal one... Anal sex, though painful and... "disgusting" (if people know how to prepare themselves, it's not dirty.), is also an option, but needs more patience to be done and lube. Oral sex is also always there after all...

...I think I got a little graphic there, sorry about that. I hope it's okay, as the topic itself is controversial and what I just wrote is on the same level as what they probably would tell you on the sex ed classes...

Anyway... Just imagine how a raped woman has to feel, and then to add to that sometimes lack of support (telling her that it's her fault, that she was provoking the rapist and other ********, etc), even getting kicked out from the family...

And what suddenly happens? Pregnancy. Just a little bit of stress can screw up everything, both the mother's mind and risk the child...

...Is it all worth it? Do you realize how dangerous pregnancy is? It's not just having a big belly, occasional back pain and morning sickness...

And the unborn child just won't be here before it realizes it.

And if mother will regret it... It's only her concern.

I do know and understand all these things. I don't usually post on topics unless I understand what they're discussing, otherwise I'm just going to end up being annoying to other members. But if you think I'm really not getting it, it's okay if you want me to leave the topic for now.

Peer pressure is possible to refuse. If a male is asking a female for sex and trying to force her to do it, the female can break up with him or explain to him that she just isn't ready. If the male persists and threatens violence or rape, I'm sure that's illegal (and if it's not, it should be) and will be stopped. I know girls would be embarrassed to talk about things like this - but to be honest, if it came down to my safety or my feelings, I would definitely choose safety.

I think abortion should be an option if the woman was raped and also in circumstances like that. If it's a thirty-year-old married woman with enough money and a reasonable size home, I don't think abortion should be allowed. If it's a sixteen-year-old girl with a disapproving family who refuse to accept the child, I think abortion should be allowed. It's better for a child not to grow up at all than to grow up without a father and with lots of stress.

 

[Jhud]

Actually no, dazzmina. You for a young age are quite mature in these topics- i was mostly reffering to guys there, not you.

And it's sad, but sometimes calling the police or going to the court doesn't work...

And your points are good too, I guess...

 

[katie_bug]

Guys really have no say in abortion.

 

[Stefan Bauwens]

Guys do have a say, and that is, that I disagree with a mother killing her child.

She may not be allowed to make a choice, if it may cause harm or death to ANOTHER human being.

Also, I believe I'm older and more mature than most of the people (indirectly) here saying to me to stop writing. This is a discussion, so don't forbid certain people fro joining in.

Also, incase the father is around(e.g:husband) I think he has as well the right to decide for the child, because it's his kid as well, no matter if it was made in the woman.

 

[Jokus]

It's better for a child not to grow up at all than to grow up without a father and with lots of stress.

Most of your points are really good, but here I disagree completly.

There is no way at all to foresee how a child's life will be.

The lives of these unborn children might become very happy nevertheless of the circumstances, or they might not. What do we know?

And well, many people grow up missing one or both parents, and being extremly stressed and mistreated and everything, but if you ask them whether they'd rather never been born, what do you think they'd say? It's not a choice for us to make in the place of someone else.

Maybe some people are suicidal and does not want to live, but then that's not a reason for us to kill every baby whose life might become sad. That actually includes all of us.

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

Most of your points are really good, but here I disagree completly.

There is no way at all to foresee how a child's life will be.

The lives of these unborn children might become very happy nevertheless of the circumstances, or they might not. What do we know?

And well, many people grow up missing one or both parents, and being extremly stressed and mistreated and everything, but if you ask them whether they'd rather never been born, what do you think they'd say? It's not a choice for us to make in the place of someone else.

Maybe some people are suicidal and does not want to live, but then that's not a reason for us to kill every baby whose life might become sad. That actually includes all of us.

I agree, but it might also ruin the mother's life to have a child. 16 to 18, the age range when teenage pregnancy is more likely (some parents might consider them old enough to have sexual relationships), teenagers are also taking exams which will influence the job they get as adults. It's a very complicated situation, what to do in those cases. I think the solution is for people to simply be more careful and use contraception. More sex education would be needed, but it would save the lives of unborn babies.

 

[Stefan Bauwens]

I agree, but it might also ruin the mother's life to have a child. 16 to 18, the age range when teenage pregnancy is more likely (some parents might consider them old enough to have sexual relationships), teenagers are also taking exams which will influence the job they get as adults. It's a very complicated situation, what to do in those cases. I think the solution is for people to simply be more careful and use contraception. More sex education would be needed, but it would save the lives of unborn babies.

Or perhaps premaritial sex shouldn't be allowed?

It's because of some mistakes, that we may a consequence for the rest of our lives, but I think a person should live with that, rather than living with another mistake(killing the baby).

 

[Amat Gotchi]

I definitely get what y'all are saying, but here's the thing:

You can't prevent other people from having sexual relationships, whether by law or by just advising someone. If you could, there would be almost no need for abortion. (It would be very nice if it could be so, but unfortunately that's not how the world works.)

Often people can't prevent themselves from engaging in sexual relationships. There is just too much pressure, and people who aim at abstinence often do not reach it. Unfortunately, people are made with a drive to engage in sexual relationships. It just happens.

I don't think abortion is right, but it should stay legal in all cases. This is because if there are only certain criteria allowed for having abortions, an abortion will be refused if the criteria can't be proven to be true. Proven, in court.

Think about it. Rape is less uncommon than is usually believed, or than the statistics suggest. The reason: it's hard to admit you've been raped. People have feelings of disbelief, embarrassment, and panic after such a traumatic event. And if you force yourself to admit it, you'll end up on trial, against the man who offended you. In court, it's hard to prove whether or not you've been raped, because no one else was there when it happened. (therefore more pregnancies occur through rape than you are aware of)

So if you can only have an abortion in the case of, say, rape, then it's likely that the abortion won't be allowed unless you can prove IN COURT that you were raped.

Although I don't think it's good to get an abortion just because you're pregnant and not totally sure what to do with the child, it should still be permitted, since there are situations like the one stated above. Count on the mother to make that choice, since she's the one responsible for whatever happens. She will undergo whatever repercussions come from the choice she makes.

The solutions to dramatically reduce the necessity of abortion:

make birth control more readily available (and free/low-cost, with education on why and how to use it)

encourage abstinence

improve the adoption system (it's very hard to put up a child for adoption, or to adopt a child, currently)

more police force (to prevent rape, which can cause pregnancy often leading to abortion)

I had a friend, and her mother was 13 when she gave birth to her. They were nice enough, but they had very little money, and lived in a dilapidated apartment on the poor side of town. I felt very bad for this friend, since she had old, torn clothes, and was not treated kindly by other kids at school, mainly because they thought she was "dirty" for the fact that her mother had her out of wedlock. This friend moved away a short time later, but I hear that when she got just a little older, she too became pregnant and involved in the same troubles her mother had. The problem in her family has become a vicious cycle, as it likely has with some others. It probably could have been prevented if they'd known more about birth control. I wish the best for this friend, though I haven't seen her for many years now.

Verdict: keep all choices legal, and let the pregnant woman make that choice.

Edit: refined grammar!

 

[katie_bug]

But word of advice:: KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!

If you are a baby you shouldn't be making them..

 

[katie_bug]

Bottom Line. This discussion is pointless. We have NO RIGHT to even give a opinion on something of this matter or how anyone should be judged. This is a touchy subject & could possibly be offensive for some. Unless we have personally went through the heart wrenching process of deciding to abort or not, we should stay hushed... Sometimes people don't really need an opinion, they just need your support. XO

 

[Jokus]

Bottom Line. This discussion is pointless. We have NO RIGHT to even give a opinion on something of this matter or how anyone should be judged. This is a touchy subject & could possibly be offensive for some. Unless we have personally went through the heart wrenching process of deciding to abort or not, we should stay hushed... Sometimes people don't really need an opinion, they just need your support. XO

I mainly agree but it still depends. Of course some people (like pregnant teens yes) need support, but if someone is about to do a really bad deed (such as kill a baby) they also need to be warned and told what they're really about to do.

Of course in a kind way and eveything, but it's still of highest importance for all women to know that pregnancy means a baby. And if the baby's grown enough for you to be aware of it, it's not ok to kill it.

 

[GO-GOZARUTCHI1]

Abortion isn't murder because it is done before the baby is viable so if the woman were to give birth to it at the very moment she had The abortion it would not survive. I want to be an OB/GYN and I am still pro-choice it's a woman's body she has the right to choose!

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

Sexual relationships are a strong instinct, yes. I'm too young to know exactly how strong an instinct they are. But I believe it is possible to go against these instincts. Most animals, for example, don't care about overpopulation; they just breed as much as they can. People, however, have overcome that instinct and we actually think about whether we can care for the number of children we have.

You don't have to have sex without wanting to. I don't believe your own instincts can force you into a relationship. I have more self control than that, and others do as well. If you resist peer pressure when you're young, you'll do it as a teenager as well.

 

[Amat Gotchi]

Sexual relationships are a strong instinct, yes. I'm too young to know exactly how strong an instinct they are. But I believe it is possible to go against these instincts. Most animals, for example, don't care about overpopulation; they just breed as much as they can. People, however, have overcome that instinct and we actually think about whether we can care for the number of children we have.

You don't have to have sex without wanting to. I don't believe your own instincts can force you into a relationship. I have more self control than that, and others do as well. If you resist peer pressure when you're young, you'll do it as a teenager as well.

That's true. However, it is still harder for some than for others to resist that instinct.

The way people usually try to reduce overpopulation is through birth control, not abstinence.

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

That's true. However, it is still harder for some than for others to resist that instinct.

The way people usually try to reduce overpopulation is through birth control, not abstinence.

People have to do hard things sometimes, though. If someone knows about teen pregnancy and its effects when they're my age or younger, they'll tell themselves "I am NOT going to get pregnant as a teenager. It will ruin my life" and are less likely to end up needing an abortion. A comparison is - I've wanted to scuba dive for about 5 years, but I only tried it recently. Most people say it would be quite hard overcoming the instinct of not wanting to breathe underwater. But since I'd wanted to do it for so long, I had no problem whatsoever with that.

Birth control is okay, but why have sex when you're not married? Nowadays people speak way too casually about sexual relationships, as if they don't matter and don't mean something. That gives teenagers the impression that having sex is "normal" or "cool". It's not. It's something you should do in your own time with someone you really love.

 

[Stefan Bauwens]

That's true. However, it is still harder for some than for others to resist that instinct.

The way people usually try to reduce overpopulation is through birth control, not abstinence.

Yes, but I think it should be abstinence. People should learn to control themselves, which isn't impossible.

Also Go-Gozarutchi, that's poor reasoning. If you know you have a child in your womb, and that if you do nothing about it the chances are it'll most likely get born, and then the mother decides to kill this child-to-b don't you think that's wrong.

It's preventing it from having a life.

It's murder since you prevent it from becoming a child, which it definitely will become.