St. Aislin

[Swan_Song]

"I don't want your pity. I don't need your pity." When he ducked under the covers, she flinched strongly, a slight cry of protest coming from her lips. "Don't get so close to me! You... you... Get away... you're scaring me..." The trembling started again, her eyes filling with tears. Before she was sure of what she was doing, she darted from the bed and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her and getting sick.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander sat on the edge of the bed for another minute. He was a mix of both shocked and confused. "Sinead." He said tapping at the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" He wondered what had gotten into her today. She seemed much more shaky then normal. He sighed slightly at sat silently in one of the little chairs they had on one of the walls be the room's oly window. He leaned his head back. So many thoughts buzzing through his brain, Why was she so afraid of him all of a sudden, what had she sctually told the police or the doctors,what else had happened to her while she was in this hospital.

 

[Swan_Song]

"Go away," she sobbed, her voice cracking loudly. "You've already made things bad enough! You and Sterling both! I never want to see either of you again!" She kept the door closed, now huddled in a corner near the sink, her knees pulled close to her chest. "I want to be left alone! I wish... I wish I were dead!" She coughed, then moved so she was curled up on her side on the floor. "My life is over! I have nothing!"

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander simply got up. He wasn't about to protest or defy her orders. He had heard the words "I never want to see you again!" Shouted at him so many times that it didn't exactly phase him much anymore. He paused only for a second to glsnce at the closed door. "Don't say things like that. You're life is far from over, you are not killing yourself and you have plenty to live for. Get off of that dirty floor and quit feeling so sorry for yourself. Because at this point, the only person in the room pitying you, is you." With that he left the room. He honestly didn't feel like dealing with her insane babble right now. He walked outside to the edge of the sidewalk from the door and lit up a much needed cigarette.

 

[Swan_Song]

When Sinead felt safe enough to leave the bathroom, she crept out, then got back into her bed, curling up and sobbing. She hated everything, and she hated everyone. She hated her father, her mother, Alexander, Sterling.... anyone she had ever known, she hated them all. She never wanted to be hurt again, and she was tired of the life she had been forced to live. Nothing was right, everything was wrong. She then silenced herself when one of the doctors came in with a few papers. "Miss Whelan... in light of the circumstances... we really need to have a discussion about what's going to happen in the next few hours. You see... you were-- technically still are-- pregnant, and--"

"I know that. I've known for some time. Give me the worse news now, doctor."

"Well... due to the beatings and malnutrition you've gone through... there's no heartbeat. We're going to have to..."

"Abort it. Fine. Get rid of it. I hate it. I don't want it. I never wanted it. It means nothing to me."

She hated her father more and more each second.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Can't even respond.

 

. . .

 

 

[Swan_Song]

SO ANYWHO.....

Sinead returned to school a few days later, looking worse for wear. But even worse, people were staring. The girl who had once been invisible was now the girl everyone knew about, and everyone talked about. The most common rumor was that her dad beat her for getting bad grades. Other people said Alexander did it, or Sterling. And of course, someone who had a relative who worked at the hospital knew about the abortion. And guess who's baby they thought it was? Well, there was a whole list of guys at the school, but the most common was, again, Alexander. People had seen them leave the school together. One could only assume.

Sinead just wanted to curl up and die at that point. Not only was she embarrassed, but she was ashamed. Now everyone had a warped version of the story-- as warped as it could be in comparison to the real story.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander, being the socially unaware and generally antisocial person he was didn't find out about rumours unless he litterally overheard people spreading them. He went to school like it was any other monotonous day. He was unaware of any real changes and he barely paid attention all though noticing the strange stares he was getting. He just assumed people had heard about his being arrested twice for the same charge in the matter of a couple of days.

 

[Swan_Song]

Sinead saw Alexander and felt like she had been punched in the gut, her eyes watering up. She wondered if he was the one saying that they had gotten together, that he had gotten in her pants. How could he do that to her? She had trusted him! She ran away from him as fast as she could, dropping her books because of the sling her right arm was in. But she didn't care. As she ran away, she could hear derogatory names coming her way, referring to women who were "easy".

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander watched as Sinead saw him and took off in the other direction I guess she'd still mad at me... He thought. He watched her drop her books and went to grab them when he heard the things the people were shouting at her. He didn't understand it, the names they were calling her made no sense. She was the complete opposite of being a **** and she was probably the most un- easy person he had ever met, and he knew easy when he saw it.

He took a sip of his coke and picked up her books shaking his head slightly as he continued on he could hear a small group of students. "And I hear she was pregnant too." Alexander nearly choked on his drink, making a soft gagging noise as he tried not to spit it on the gossiping girls.

He found Sinead, originally he was planning on just giving her back he books and walking away but now he had more on his mind. It had seemed like with every few fett he could hear a new piece of the web of rumours they seemed to be tangled in.

"So When, exactly were you planning on telling me we were having a bay together?"

 

[Swan_Song]

"When were you planning on telling me we had slept together? Apparently you went around and told the whole school. You pig... You don't even know the whole story about what goes on in my life. And I told you I don't want to see you again, so why don't you just let me be alone, okay? I'll probably be put in foster care soon anyway, so you might as well just butt out of my life now," she hissed, her eyes filled with tears and anger. "I'm not one of your d*mn conquests!" She grabbed her books then walked away, fuming.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander scoffed and followed in suit. "Oghhh. Like I would ever want to have sex with you let alone tell people we did!" He snapped, his voice probably a bit too loud at this point. People from the hallway whipped aound to look at the commotion, a few tapping away at their phones. "Fine. No Fxcking problem." He glanced around at the people. "Go ahead, be alone. You're pretty dxmn good good at it." He shook his head and walked through the crowd of people that instantly separtated as he approached.

 

[Swan_Song]

She would never admit it, but when he said that to her, her pride had been wounded. Even the guy who slept with practically any girl in the school didn't want her. But then she retorted, "Being alone is better than being with you!" She kept walking, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. She made a quick turn into the restroom, to check the bandages on her face, as well as to eat her lunch. Being in the cafeteria was too much pressure for her.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander just kept walking. At this point he didn't care what she said to him. He didn't know what to be more upset at. The fact that she said she would rather be alone then with him or that she actually thought he had started the rumours about her. he drove to a crappy little fast food place and bought some crappy plastasine food. He headed back to school for his next period. He didn't realise until he was already in his English room that he had this class with Sinead. He wished he could escape, but then again he couldnt' simply just avoid her forever right.

 

[Swan_Song]

Sinead walked into the English classroom, her eyes red and puffy from crying. As she walked, people stared at her, called her names, and one kid even threw a paper wad at her. But she held her head high, her mouth set in a firm line. No matter what they said, she would not break down in front of them. She sat in her seat and stared at the board, barely moving a muscle. She didn't acknowledge anyone in the room, not even the teacher. She was there to learn, get a grade, then leave.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander tried not to but he noticed her face. Her eyes were red and puffy and he could tell she was trying hard to keep a straight face and not lose her cool. He averted his gaze to the blackboard ahead of him and for once didn't have a single thing to say. He did feel slightly bad for her though, after all she'd been through people were acting like it was her fault. That she had slept aound and was some sort of cheap wh*re. He slumped down in his seat he hoped to just go as unnoticed in this class as possible.

 

[Swan_Song]

Sinead took notes diligently, never faltering from her studying, never saying a word. The teacher avoided looking at her, and didn't ask her a single question the whole time. Sinead didn't seem to care, but inside she was feeling a million emotions, all of them negative. She resisted the urge to look at Alexander, still upset from their previous confrontation. She really hoped class would go by quickly so she could leave. Her mother had set up a hotel room for her downtown, so she wouldn't have to go home, and she could be close to the hospital.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander wasn't paying much attention to anything that was going on in the classroom. He had no idea even as to what the teacher was talking about. He just wished that this class would be over soon so he could go home. This day had defiitely been much more than he was expecting and peobably allthough he wouldn't admit it, more than he could handle.

 

[Swan_Song]

When the bell rang, Sinead slowly picked up her things and left the room, moving at her own pace, trying not to let everyone else bother her. She had to stay strong until she was safely in the confines of her hotel room. She just needed to hide herself from the world, from the other kids. Especially from Alexander. She shouldn't have cared what he thought about her, but for some reason she did. And it bothered her to no end.

 

[xXMysticXx]

Alexander moved slowly at getting out of his seat. At first he couldn't wait to leave but now his mind was racing and he was trying to figured out his own thoughts and feelings. He knew he felt bad about their fight. He knew he wanted to avoid Sinead and the awkwardness that came with it. But on the other hand he wanted to apologized, their argument for some reason had strucka chord with him and made him feel horrible for saying the things he had. He knew she was already going through enough and had enough crap to deal with and didn't need it coming from him as well.

"Sinead, I... about earlier, I, I said some things in the heat of the moment and I... "He couldn't seem to find the right words and he realised she probably didn't care at this point. "Never mind."

He strolled casually out of the room.