My first song ever!

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NOTE: The following message is an honest (pretty negative) critique. If you can't take it, don't read the following paragraph. If you can, read on; some advice follows the meanness. :huh:

Anyway,

There's no rhyme scheme at all. That'd be okay if the lyrics had any depth and complexity - unfortunately, these don't. The body of the lyrics seems to just be reiterating the title of the song over and over. I know you are young, but I'm afraid someone has to be honest here - these lyrics are rather poor.

I'm not master lyrics writer, but I'll try my hand at some advice:

Try to think about writing a song like you are telling a story. It's easiest to write songs when you think about them like they have a beginning, middle, and end, and with a chorus that is the "main idea." Not all songs are necessarily written as such, but it's a good starting place. Take a topic you know about (crushes, parents hatin', rumours, etc.) and try and tell a story about it in song.

Try rhyming so that the song flows better. Unless you know what you're doing, unrhymed tunes can sound pretty choppy. Also, thinking about actual rhyming will help you actually think about what you're writing - you'll choose your words carefully so they mesh well, resulting in a better song.

Remember songs are sung over music most of the time. (duh. xD) That means that there has to be a certain amount of rhythmic since about the placement of words and accents of syllables. You shouldn't try to fit a 5 syllable word in where there is only room for a 1 syllable word. The words should make sense with music - think about this when writing.

Finally, remember the age old saying: "Rome wasn't built in a day." Well, good songs usually aren't written in a day, either. They often take a long time with many revisions before you are happy with the result. It's about quality, not quantity.

Happy writing.

 
NOTE: The following message is an honest (pretty negative) critique. If you can't take it, don't read the following paragraph. If you can, read on; some advice follows the meanness. :D
Anyway,

There's no rhyme scheme at all. That'd be okay if the lyrics had any depth and complexity - unfortunately, these don't. The body of the lyrics seems to just be reiterating the title of the song over and over. I know you are young, but I'm afraid someone has to be honest here - these lyrics are rather poor.

I'm not master lyrics writer, but I'll try my hand at some advice:

Try to think about writing a song like you are telling a story. It's easiest to write songs when you think about them like they have a beginning, middle, and end, and with a chorus that is the "main idea." Not all songs are necessarily written as such, but it's a good starting place. Take a topic you know about (crushes, parents hatin', rumours, etc.) and try and tell a story about it in song.

Try rhyming so that the song flows better. Unless you know what you're doing, unrhymed tunes can sound pretty choppy. Also, thinking about actual rhyming will help you actually think about what you're writing - you'll choose your words carefully so they mesh well, resulting in a better song.

Remember songs are sung over music most of the time. (duh. xD) That means that there has to be a certain amount of rhythmic since about the placement of words and accents of syllables. You shouldn't try to fit a 5 syllable word in where there is only room for a 1 syllable word. The words should make sense with music - think about this when writing.

Finally, remember the age old saying: "Rome wasn't built in a day." Well, good songs usually aren't written in a day, either. They often take a long time with many revisions before you are happy with the result. It's about quality, not quantity.

Happy writing.
:D Wow. That was exactly what I was thinking this whole time.

Gejitchi has pretty much said all there is to say. Your lyrics are quite poor, and I don't feel any emotion. What more can I say??

Also, try to use syllables(sp?) in your song. It'd make it have a nicer rythm.

Keep it up, and keep practicing.

 
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Hmm.. Good start but didn't tamaw/pants just posted using proper grammar it looks better like this, Have the name of boy. It took me like forever to edit this. The rumor one made no sense, it seems like you made a part, and skip it. You left it hanging. Seems as though you've been watching some of the Proud Family. For example the boy name will be John.

It's like does the song make sense to you?

I don't really hear singing.. It's like you hear talking..

I mean no offense.

Like Never? Let's get together? Try to make a verse rhyme with another verse.

But good start. All I can say now. I'm being forced off the computer, xD.

[Vannesa] I have loved you!

So long!

Tell me if you like me like me

[guitar and drums]

[CHORUS] I never thought I'd say it

But I love you

Never thought!

I love you!

Never thought I would say it to you!

Time is running out!

For us to be together!

I love you so much!

Never!

Lets get together now!!!

[CHORUS] Ohh I you!

Oh! I never thought I'd say it but I love you

Oh!

Oh!!!

[blows a kiss]
 
Rumors!

Stop spreddin those rumors around!

Stop tellin the lies!

My best friend

my girl

Stop spredin the rumors around

Stop spreddin the lies!

Rumors are lies!

My girl my brother,baby

stop sprindin

those rumors

Stop spreddin those rumors around

Stop spreddin the lies

Rumors are lies

Wish I could be here with you

not that's a lie

or a rumor spreddin it around!

SStop spreddin these aroundddddddddddddddddd

Stop speddin these rumors around

Stop tellin the lies

Rumors are lies!

Stop spreddin these rumors around

stop tellin the lies!

Stop,stop,stop and stop!
That song is from The Proud Family! Penny sang it!

 
i know!I love it

I wrote another 1 but it's not done yet but the beat and song and the voice of mine is good

 
i remember when me and my friend wrote this song in 5th grade... i was like "let's sing it" but she was sick... so she was like "i sound horrible, like this" and then she drew a pic of a puking stick figure.. and then we showed our band teacher and he SLAUGHTERED the song in a funny way and then he asked "why is there a puking stick figure on the paper"

XDDDDD good times, good times XD

 
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