Dear Behind,
I'm so sorry I sit on you most of the day.
I often find my self thinking of exercising on your behalf, but then I find myself too lazy.
I'm extremely sorry, but you know that I love you.
Without you, it would be harder to sit on the floor.
Thinking of you always,
Your upper half.
--
Dear William Shatner:
I adore you. Although you are probably one of the worst actors I've ever seen, ever, you are the best Kirk.
Chris Pine did a pretty good job, but no one can compare to you.
When you have that Kirk smirk on your face, everyone knows no one can mess with you.
And I love the way you turned it all into a joke nowadays.
With love,
A crazy Trekkie
[Thank god I got that off my chest...]