Why do I always screw up...?

[~SkrillexGotchi~]

I hate my disability...it's not a gift...it's a curse.

I always act awkward towards people and it ends up with someone pushing me away. I hate myself for it and I cry in the school bathrooms whenever I have a chance to, especially with a person that I try so hard to care about...but...I always make her angered...and we fight...and I hate it when we start fighting...I want her to like me for who I am...and I want to like her for who she is...but...it will never happen...

I always become scared of her...because if I screw up one particular subject, she won't let it go until I start having painful tears and that I want to set things straight...which I never have the chance to, because it would never work...

She is losing me bit by bit...and I might be losing her too...I just wish that she would love me for who I am (I say love because I care about my friend very much) and that she doesn't hate me and leaves me in the dust of the forgotten. I feel like that I'm left to die and to be alone.

Why did I end up like this? I need advice before trying to talk to her again...

 

[SailorRosette]

You need to be proud of who you are. It doesn't matter what others think. Maybe they seem like your friends but if they can't accept you for you... Then its time for new friends. With the new school year just beginning, its the perfect time.

It maybe a good idea to look into someone to talk to about this stuff, local to you. Although, It can easily be said you may have some depression looming. All of us have it at some point in our life. Its nothing to be ashamed about. Trying to keep a front of being happy is pointless if you aren't being yourself anyway.

 

[Retrotamagotchi]

hmm, I agree. If she doesn't like you until you cry, then she's not a true friend. True friends make each other happy, and they accept you for who you are. They're always there for you, and never talk behind your back. It's probably okay if you have some fights now and then, also.

If you still really want to be her friend, you should hold your ground until she backs off.