My story I have started to write...

[*Gummi_Bear*]

Well ,, I have started writing a story about a young girl named Karina who lives in the ghetto with her mother and her moms boyfriend ,, and she gets raped ,, and pregnant ,,, and she meets a boy ,,, you get the point ,, this is what I have so far (and please dont say it sucks ,, I'm only 12 ,, it's not gonna be good)

The cold stung against my face as thick tears rolled down my milk chocolate cheeks .. The moonlight bounced off my deep brown eyes,,resembling two brown marbles.. I slowly reached my hand up to my cheeck and caressed the imprite my mother's boyfriend's ring had left ."

I have more but I'm lazy .. just comment if you want me to send you the full version .

 

[Jadeie]

Meh, don't say that you suck. It's quite good. I know you may say that because you look at other writers and go 'wow that's much better'. But that is a mistake, I am 11 and I have all the kids in my school going, "OMGISH you're such a good writer." I deny it, like you might be.

Well, maybe you could cut short with the full stops, and start using a few more periods and commas in your sentences. Maybe you should over run with spell check to go over your typos too.

 

[*Gummi_Bear*]

Thank you <3

 

[Goggle-Face]

Can't really give a proper critique or compliment you with just one line.

I suggest posting a whole chapter?

 

[*Gummi_Bear*]

I most likely will when I decided it's ready .