Jokes!

[TamaSweetie]

Credits to my field hockey teammate for this one: (it's about a blonde and a brunette, no offence! ^_^ )

A blonde and a brunette went parachuting. About a minute after they jumped off the plane the brunette decided that it was the right time to open up her parachute, as the instructor told her so. But she noticed that the blonde didn't, so she asked why. 'I'll do it later,' replied the blonde.

At 500m the blonde still didn't open her parachute. So the brunette asked again. 'Later,' replied the blonde.

400m...

300m...

200m...

100m...

And when they were only 1m from the ground the brunette just can't bear the fact. 'Why are you still not opening your parachute?' she asked, a bit impatiently.

'Oh,' replied the blonde (in a relaxed voice), 'I can jump from here.'

LOL If you know any super-funny jokes just post them here! Tamagotchi jokes would be even cooler!

 

[x. Tama_Crazy x.]

A guy rings up another guy and asks, ''Is your refridgerator running?" "Yes" "Well you better go catch it!" -a classic

 

[illiey12]

Knock Knock

Whos there?

Al

Al who?

Alcoholic!!

(Sorry if its not really appropriate for TT but i thought i might post it)

 

[TamaPATCHI]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Inter-

MOO!

I got it out of a book. x3

 

[FireCracker]

Knock knock

Whos there?

i screwed doctor

i screwed doctor who?

 

[Cinderpelt]

A little girl went up to her father.

"Daddy, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head sweetie."

One of the other father's daughters went up to him and said, "Daddy, why did you name me Daisy?"

"Because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head darling."

The father's last daughter came up to him.

"Aaioeooooeroue!! (jibberish)"

"Shut up Cinderblock!! I'm trying to watch TV!!"

xDD

It sounds better being said, rather than in text.

My friend told it the other day at lunch.

It wins. x33

 

[Leafpool]

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

↑ The best one I can currently think of

 

[kupatchithelover]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Poop

Poop who?

Poop on you!!!!!

MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

They must have named oranges before they named carrots. "Whats this?" "Its orange, lets call it an orange" "Whats this?" "Oh dam, Long pointy??"

One day im going to go to the beach and bury metal objects with 'get a life' written on them

I bought a dictionary and the first thing i looked up was the word dictionary and it said "Your a butt hole"

Hahahahahahahaha. Its all of a youtube vid

 

[Kipper]

what kind of cheese isn't yours???

click three times to find answer \/

[SIZE=7pt](nacho cheese!)[/SIZE]

 

[bratztroxg]

I have one!

There's a restaurant, and everyone is eating happily there, when a panda walks in. He orders some pizza and sits down to eat it. Nobody really notices him until he suddenly stands up, shoots some random people in the restaurant and then leaves. "Hey, you!" says the owner, running after the panda, "What do you think you're doing? You can't just eat our pizza, shoot our customers and leave!" The panda replies, "I'm a panda. Look it up in the dictionary."

The owner takes a dictionary and looks up 'panda', and sees the definition 'Eats shoots and leaves'.

~bratztroxg

 

[Tamagirl#1]

A little girl went up to her father."Daddy, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head sweetie."

One of the other father's daughters went up to him and said, "Daddy, why did you name me Daisy?"

"Because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head darling."

The father's last daughter came up to him.

"Aaioeooooeroue!! (jibberish)"

"Shut up Cinderblock!! I'm trying to watch TV!!"

xDD

It sounds better being said, rather than in text.

My friend told it the other day at lunch.

It wins. x33

OMG!!!! Ha! That one really cut me up!

 

[violetchi_garden]

I'm not really sure if this counts as a joke but its funny!

this is what I put in one of the comics I wrote.

kelly:[to vergina] we're gonna see the flag bringer today! we're gonna get you a new dress!

vergina:[to kelly] I hear ya loud and clear! we'll need to get some punch for the party!

kelly:[to vergina] aren't you listening!? take the ear phones off!

vergina:[to kelly] yeah I hear ya! what do ya think of pizza too?

kelly:[to kelsey] why did we even get her an mp3?

kelsey:[to kelly] so she'll shut up for once...

:furawatchi:

 

[Mr.Brightside]

Knock. Knock.

Who's here?

You Know.

You Know Who?

Correct. AVADA KEDAVRA!

 

[candygirl93]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Mudkip.

Mudkip who?

SO I HEARD YOU LIEK MUDKIPZ!

Joke reference: Well one Reference Anyway XD ♥♥

Yea that was lame I know XD. I stink at jokes lol.

 

[Mr.Darkside]

Hahaha, I love the 'You-know-who' one. :3

And the one about the children named after what fell on their heads. I heard it before though. Cinderblock was Fridge.

Here's a blonde joke... don't take any offense. >_>

So, there's a stadium filled with 10 001 blondes. The announcer goes up to the podium, and says, "Alright! We are gathered here today to prove to the world that we are not dumb! I'm going to ask a volunteer to come up here, where I will ask questions, and they will answer them. Can I have a volunteer?"

So a blonde girl goes up to the podium.

"Okay, so, what is 10+10?" the announcer asks.

The blonde thinks about it for a moment, before saying, "... 40?"

10 000 cheers go up in the audience. "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The announcer decides to give her another chance. "...Okay... what is 7+7?"

The blonde thinks for about a minute before saying, "Uhm... 17?"

10 000 cheers go up in the audience. "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The announcer is hesitant, but decides it couldn't hurt. "OK... what is 2+2?"

The blonde thinks really hard for about 5 minutes, before saying, "4...?"

10 000 cheers go up in the audience. "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

 

[x.Ryancloud]

I dunno any jokes. Dx