I need help

[mmmotterpops]

Yeah, I was thinking of searching for heaps of disgusting photos of teeth and liver and things like that after smoking...

Yeah, those pictures are pretty savage. I can't stand to look at them.

 

[kk445]

What i would say, just try to get your mom to quit. Tell her the danger each time she smokes (you learned that, you said in your post, right?)Just try to make her quit, and remind her the dangers before she gets more and more addicted

 

 

Hope it helped!

 

[Kelly_Clarkson8]

I notice a lot of members are saying "It's her body, let her do what she wants" But that doesn't help, obviously she is worried about her mom's health, and wants help to make her mom quit. =)

Also, she is worried because it affects her mothers health, and herself + her sister, if the mother was doing drugs or drinks too much, I doubt you would be saying "Its her body, let her do what she wants" . Thanks

What I'd suggest is to ask your mom questions innocently like "Mom, when did you start smoking?" and "Did your parents like it when you smoked?". Also, this may not work, depending on how your mother will react, but when she is smoking, either hold your breath as you walk by, or just walk by, and when you get a few feet away from her, cough. Not "OH GAWSHZ! MY THROAT!" kind of cough. lol.

Well, I hope this helps, KC8

 

[Mamitchi465]

okay i was just telling you smokers know what they are doing to themselves....just really confirm her about. I know how you feel, my brother smokes too..and he smells! lol sometimes i get really mad and say "you smell like you havent tooken a shower in years!" but dont do that because it doesnt help. all i can do is confirm him about it...i guess he is trying to quit for me now

~Mamitchi465

 

[cutie_pop]

I notice a lot of members are saying "It's her body, let her do what she wants" But that doesn't help, obviously she is worried about her mom's health, and wants help to make her mom quit. =)Also, she is worried because it affects her mothers health, and herself + her sister, if the mother was doing drugs or drinks too much, I doubt you would be saying "Its her body, let her do what she wants" . Thanks

What I'd suggest is to ask your mom questions innocently like "Mom, when did you start smoking?" and "Did your parents like it when you smoked?". Also, this may not work, depending on how your mother will react, but when she is smoking, either hold your breath as you walk by, or just walk by, and when you get a few feet away from her, cough. Not "OH GAWSHZ! MY THROAT!" kind of cough. lol.

Well, I hope this helps, KC8

Thanks so much KC8! That kinda helps. LOL. Not many people actually know that she smokes. It's kind of a bit of a secret. The only people that I think knows are: Me, my sister, my dad and maybe one of my mum's friends? Apart from that, NO ONE knows. Mum doesn't want her parents finding out because she knows they'll get angry at her. They're pretty against those kind of things including piercing and tattoes and things like that. I think my mum started smoking again after my brother was born (that was 6 years ago) he was born 3 months early and he had to stay in hospital for ages and he had a very sensitive body (people with colds and people who weren't related to him weren't allowed to go near him) so I don't think my mum was smoking in that period of time. She used to smoke before her and my dad got married but then quit because she knew that my dad didn't like smoking. She says that after that she didn't smoke while she was pregnant with me or my sister or my brother but I think she was smoking in between and hiding it from us.

Right now I'm making a REALLY disgusting powerpoint on smoking and showing it to her. It is really gross. On each page, I've got disgusting pictures of different things (eg. teeth, liver, lungs etc.) I'm hoping that'll kind of help me. Seriously, looking at one of the pages makes you feel like vomiting.

 

[TamaMum]

I think the most important thing is : Have you asked your Mother if she actually wants to quit smoking?

I can see you are concerned about her, but I'm not clear if she told you and your sister about her smoking because she'd like you to help her quit or if she told you because she feels it's an important enough part of her life that she should not keep secret from you both any longer.

You mention that she said she smokes because it helps her deal with the various stresses in her life at the moment. I wonder if preparing a powerpoint presentation showing her gross photos and telling her what smoking does to her liver and teeth will help deal with that stress, or add to it?

The fact is that most smokers know the health dangers and all the other unattractive aspects such as bad breath, brown teeth, permanent smell of smoke... and they choose to ignore it and continue.

I wonder if your Mum told you about the smoking because she felt you were mature enough to know something personal about her life and to deal with it.

If she can't find a way to deal with / solve some of the stressful things that prompt her to light a cigarette, how will she cope if you ask her to stop doing the thing that helps her get through the day?

Perhaps the best thing to do is to tell her that you're worried about her (because of the things you've learned about smoking at school, etc.) and ask her if she wishes she could stop?

Most smokers find it easier to quit if they themselves decide that they want to stop. That's the first step. You have to want to quit. If your hearts not in it then all that will probably happen is you'll take up the habit again in later years. From what you've said, that's already happened.

If she does want to give up but feels her English is too poor to get support from a group session, perhaps something like Nicotine patches may help.

You stop smoking and you wear the patches like a band aid - renewing them, one per day - and they deliver a tiny amount of nicotine into your body through your skin.

This tiny amount is enough to control the worst of the cravings for a cigarette and allows you to gradually reduce the levels of nicotine over a period of about 3-4 weeks, until the amount of nicotine is so insignificant that you don't need the patches, you don't need to smoke and you don't have to deal with the withdrawl symptoms.

It doesn't work for everyone but if she's smoking less than 10 per day it might work for her. You can buy them from Chemists shops/Pharmacies in the UK, and I am sure they are available in most countries in the same way - or you can get them as a prescription (like medicine) from Doctors.

Like I said, as a first step, she needs to think about why she is smoking and what makes her want to smoke and if she wants to be free of it.

Talk to her about it, ask her for her thoughts on it, but try not to scare her into quitting or make her feel guilty about it so that she'll quit... that kind of thing really doesn't work in my experience.

 

[susanands]

Just talk to her and tell her how upset it makes you feel when she smokes.

 

[cutie_pop]

I asked her just before if she'd like to give up smoking and she said "Yes I DO but this is my body we're talking about. Don't worry about it,". We got the number for the quit line yesterday night when it was on one of the ads on tv last night and my sister showed her it and she said "They won'r be able to understand my english," again. I was thinking that maybe we could call the helpline and if the person my mum is talking to doesn't understand what she says then maybe I could repeat what she wants to say to the person? Or maybe like TamaMum said (Thank you very much TamaMum, your advice helped! ) I could ask my mum if nicotine patches would work better for her?

 

[Mimitchiz]

Even though you haven't been exposed to parents smoking before, (right?)

its not that big of a deal to cry over.

Its your moms choice to quit, and if she wants to, you can help her.

 

[Star Tama]

I think that the bad things about smoking are way over rated. What about drinking? That can kill you much quicker if you're not careful. People are way to worried about their health and living really long and that's why they want people to stop smoking. With the number of ciggarets she smokes and the time it takes to affect the body it'll be a really long time before anything remotely serious happens. By then she'll be old (well most of the time that's when the affects really begin) and will have lived a good life.

As long as she doesn't smoke around you (my mum doesn't) then it's fine. My mum has never smoked indoors and didn't do it in restaurants and pubs where it's allowed (before they banned it that is). I don't mind my mum smoking and she smokes a lot more than your mum does.

If it reall concerns you then tell her however habbits you've for a long time are hard to get rid of.

 

[Cinderpelt]

There really isn't much you can do here. Hopefully one day she'll kick that nasty habit for good.

My mom used to smoke, but when she got pregnant with me, she knew that it was bad for the baby. So she stopped cold, and has never gone back.

My dad smokes, but he hides it from my brother and I. He never smokes in the house. He'll go site on our back stoop. If I go outside while he is out there, he'll snap at me. My dad almost never snaps. So obviously, he doesn't want us to get into the habit like him.

Try focusing on making good choices for yourself. I know this must be hard for you. Try talking to a real-life in person friend, or another family member that may share your concern.

 

[lil-miss-vampire-13]

i know smoking is wrong and all but stuff about smoking is overhyped there are many a people that live to 90 something that smoke, plus its better to be a smoker then to be a ice addict

 

[ribbo]

Once your addicted to something, you can't help it, if you were that into it then you'de have high hopes- des your mum want to to stop?

If so, go to a doctor and get patches, they help lower the nicotien that gos in your body and help lower the need for cigarettes, or she could take nocottien tablets- you can buy them at a pharmacy.

Or doctor, as a doctor, I hope everything goes ok with you and your mum.

 

[psychokitty1622]

Give her the nicotine patches and stock up on the gum that helps you quit. If she refuses to take the nicotine patches then you and your siblings keep quiet about the smoking for a while like it's okay and then when her guard is down slip her some of the gum that helps you quit. If you think it would be better eat some yourself and then offer her the gum so she thinks it's regular gum and won't get suspicious because the gum doesn't even affect non smokers. This will help and you should also make sure to be extra nice to her. Go on some of those websites that give you ideas of how to quit smoking.

 

[delious gurl]

Well once you start you cant stop

it might be kinda disturbing to see ur mom smoke

but if she wants to stop

she will stop

if she dosent she wont

because i kno its an addition

and nicotine is very addictive

but she has to understand that

she is also hurting her childern

 

[Mametchi_411]

Yea my mums been smoking since I was born She tried to quit this summer by taking this anti-Cigarete thing but it didnt work.

This is why I don't even want to START! I seems impossible to stop!

mametchi

 

[ice mountain]

I disagree with the 'tell her how bad it is.'
Smokers already KNOW the risks. They know how bad it is. It's a choice to smoke.

It sucks that you're worried about her, but it's her life, her body, her choice.

Don't waste your breath telling her it's bad for her.

As for stealing her cigarettes, that's possibly one of the worst things you could do :|

She's your MOTHER. You don't steal from your parents. Regardless of what it is. Also, hello, she has money. She can buy more.

If she wants to smoke, that's her decision. Leave it alone.

Srsly.

You could possibly take a baby picture of you-or sibling and tape it on a cigarette box...

Otherwise..just read what SK hadda say:

 

[cutie_pop]

Thanks so much everyone! I'm just so glad I asked help on TT I knew people would be willing to give me advice. I'm gonna try my hardest to maybe try and stop her. She DOES want to stop and I think with my sister, we'll be able to stop her. My mum knows how much we're hurt by her smoking. (I mean, seriously we were crying non-stop when she told us that she smoked).