I have a crazy school dilemma :( :( :( :( :(

[CherubHorse]

Well apparently there is a girl in my school who used to be obsessed with my sister's best friend.

To put it plainly, the stalker is very manipulative and would call the stalkee in the dead of night to tell her that she was going to kill herself if they didn't hang out.

The stalker started chatting with me online a few hours ago, we've been talking for like 3 hours and I felt like best friends with her until a few minutes ago

Until I realized that she was THE STALKER

My older sister warned me never to be really friends with her because she is known for being manipulative, negative....

The parents have banned the girl from calling the stalkee, but she refuses to listen.

She just told me never to be friends with the stalkee because the stalkee is very mean and two-faced

And I already feel like best friends with her

I didn't know what she looked like though

At school I've seen her act very strangely and manipulatively (I study body language and I am very accurate at reading body expressions) but online she just seems like the kind of psychopath who would be best friends with you in 10 minutes, then lure you into their van by telling you they're going to a concert that you'd like and they wind up murdering you.

It sounds harsh but it's really the truth.

I don't know what to do because I already logged off, I told her I'd talk to her tomorrow ("Sorry, gtg!!! Ill talk to you tomorrow though. nightttt ") and she responded, saying, "AWESOMEEEEEE. lol youre so cool you actually like meeee xD ily GOODNIGHT CHICKY"

WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

I FEEL SO WEIRD AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[SailorRosette]

Go with your gut feelings. Think about the chat you had, did it seem positive? Do you think this person deserves a chance...? To be your friend even? If you feel okay... Give it a chance. Get to know them personally before actually drawing conclusions for yourself. Yes, the people maybe trying to protect you, but everybody deserves a shot. Even if the book cover is strange and the insides have torn pages. One thing that is a good thing to live by... Don't judge a book by its cover. Read the book and find out for yourself.

 

[booboo1]

Honestly she seems a little weird just from that one sentence you posted :/

But maybe she's just lonely. If everyone sees her as a stalker or a weirdo she probably doesn't really know how to act and just needs a friend.

Though if she doesn't seem like a good person after getting to know her, I suggest talking to her about it, not just freaking out and calling her a creepy stalker. She's a human being too and has feelings.

Like SailorRosette said, I think that she deserves a chance. If she ends up being a good friend, then that's great. If not, maybe you can help her change her ways.

 

[StenoTim]

Just keep it light and casual. You can't take on other people's issues yourself; just be nice, but keep your distance for a while. Basically, make it plain that you're into chatting and saying "Hi!" for now. You're probably not helping the situation by chatting for hours at a time--and don't promise to talk tomorrow, or whenever. She's clearly the kind of person who will count on that type of "promise" and blow up/get depressed if you don't sign on, even though it's probably for some normal reason (you're too tired, out shopping, having a family dinner, too much homework, playing with a new Tamagotchi , etc.). You'll chat when you're on, if it's convenient.

If, after a good while, she seems like a nice, normal friend, then maybe give her a little more of your time and make a light commitment like going to the mall or whatever you like to do. Let her behavior be your guide, but don't feel responsible for her mental health, and don't give her a way to make your life more difficult by becoming too available too soon. Above all--be kind and polite even if she becomes what you're fearing she might be.

People like that can be hard to deal with, but maybe she just has low self-esteem. It'll be obvious if she's trying to use you in some odd way. Like I said, be polite and don't be unnecessarily hurtful even if you decide to keep her at arm's length for the future.

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

Never trust rumours unless you have physical proof of them; don't go on hunches about body language and things. Even the most widespread rumours that everyone believes can turn out to be untrue. However, this girl does sound like someone with good social skills but can't really have a close friend; there are lots of those around and my advice is to watch out for and avoid them. I think you should treat her as a sort of acquaintance; talk to her when you're both online and act casual, and don't tell her any secrets or anything. If she threatens you in any way or does anything suspicious, either confront her about it or immediately end your friendship. Most importantly, if she plays any of these tricks about killing herself if you don't hang out, ignore them. She might in actuality just feel insulted if you don't hang out - but no matter what she says, you should never listen to threats. If she threatens physical violence then you should tell your parents or call Childline.

Also, don't give her contact information. If she doesn't have your phone number or address, the easier it is to get her out of your life if these rumours about her turn out to be true. If bullies have nothing to use against you, they can't go against you - so just talk with her about casual, normal subjects like TV or music and don't tell her any personal information. Treat her like an online friend; when you meet someone online you don't know who they are so you talk to them about things that can't be used to single you out or threaten you.

 

[CherubHorse]

Never trust rumours unless you have physical proof of them; don't go on hunches about body language and things. Even the most widespread rumours that everyone believes can turn out to be untrue. However, this girl does sound like someone with good social skills but can't really have a close friend; there are lots of those around and my advice is to watch out for and avoid them. I think you should treat her as a sort of acquaintance; talk to her when you're both online and act casual, and don't tell her any secrets or anything. If she threatens you in any way or does anything suspicious, either confront her about it or immediately end your friendship. Most importantly, if she plays any of these tricks about killing herself if you don't hang out, ignore them. She might in actuality just feel insulted if you don't hang out - but no matter what she says, you should never listen to threats. If she threatens physical violence then you should tell your parents or call Childline.

Also, don't give her contact information. If she doesn't have your phone number or address, the easier it is to get her out of your life if these rumours about her turn out to be true. If bullies have nothing to use against you, they can't go against you - so just talk with her about casual, normal subjects like TV or music and don't tell her any personal information. Treat her like an online friend; when you meet someone online you don't know who they are so you talk to them about things that can't be used to single you out or threaten you.

There are no rumors.

My sister is literally the most trustworthy person I know, and she holds intelligence and trustworthiness high when choosing friends.

I do not go on hunches "like body language and things" because there is an actual SCIENCE behind it. Everyone's body language is spoken the same way, but first you have to establish a baseline for their normal body language, actions, personality, etc. I am very particular about these sorts of things and I am constantly irritating my sister and make her angry because I tell her exactly what she might be thinking of, what her reaction was to what I said (micro-expressions often go unnoticed)..... I am extremely accurate and I know what I'm doing.

I was talking more to the stalkee today, and basically the stalker wanted to be the center of the stalkee's world....she would do literally anything for her attention. She had a girl crush (not an actual crush, though) on the stalkee and apparently she bombards my sister with texts about the stalkee every few days...

I was talking to her today at lunch, and I have decided....

Our friendly relationship is over >.>

It's not just me that has noticed everything unusual the girl does....

I study psychology as well as body language....this girl has major issues.

My estimate is that her parents don't give her enough attention at home. Other than that, she has no basic social skills and her friends frequently remarked to me about how angry the stalker gets..... I was only talking to her friends for about 10 minutes, and even then they mentioned the stalker's anger around 12 times.

The stalker's friends are also quite "unusual"....but not interesting or outstandingly unique.

They're just people who mildly disturb me (slackers and smokers) and I have reason to believe that they are involved in drugs....

I am in high school now, it's entirely possible.

I'm just angry right now for different reasons, so if I sounded harsh don't take it personally.

 

[StenoTim]

Well, it's good that you made up your mind (and stay away from drug users, for so many reasons, not just the stereotypical "say no to drugs" reasons!). Just remember not to sink to the level of talking bad about people or spreading negativity--even if it's true information, there's just no need. It's not classy.

 

[Stay_gold_]

Some people are just super awkward. She probably doesn't know how to act, give her a shot, i don't think you guys should be calling her the 'stalker' either.

 

[Amat Gotchi]

In my city, there are people like that (drug users and all) in high school, and there are even a fairly large amount in middle school. You need to learn to have a very detached relationship with them if they try to approach you. Don't get too close to them, don't give them too much contact information, don't go places with them without a parent, etc, but do be courteous to them. You can be wrong about people, and you may find out they are perfectly nice and good. If they tell you something's very wrong in their life (such as abuse, eating disorders, drug addictions they'd like to fix), get help for them! AKA counselors, teachers, parents, other trusted adults. If they try to convince you to do something that sounds sketchy to you, say no, and if necessary (AKA they start harassing you) get adult help.

Just a little future advice.

 

[Orandatchi]

chicky omg

 

[~SailorMoon~]

Idk, give her a chance!! like a lot of people said b4, shes probably just lonely. give her a chance and maybe she'd turn out to be awesome sauce!! the fact that she said "you actually like me omg omg OMG" just makes me think she wants a friend