Hiding my sexuality

shop deals on amazon
Advertise with us
Shop deals on ebay
TamaTalk

Help Support TamaTalk:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Status
Not open for further replies.
ChocoToken

ChocoToken

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
845
Reaction score
1
Well.. I am pretty uncomfortable with my sexuality, and I just want to know if I could hide it my whole life.

Is this possible, and how can I? Because I do NOT enjoy this.

 
I know what you mean, -.-

I hide it from family and people other than my friends at school.

Eventually you will have to come out, You can't keep it bottled up forever.

Just come out to someone, You'll feel relived.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Wow.

Why would you hide it?

If you love someone, you love them. Why do you care what other people think? :I

Edit: Typo

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Wow.
Why would you hide it?

If you love someone, you love them. Why do you care what other people think? :I

Edit: Typo
Click to expand...
Yep. I agree. If you love someone, you love them. Why do you care what other people think?

But, Are you scared people will make fun of you? Because the people that do make fun of you are not true friends. :3

 
... You shouldn't hide it.

Because if your family and friends find out by suprise,

It'll hurt them more that you keep it hidden.

 
:/ You should feel comfortable about it! It's who you are.

I can see how you'd feel uncomfortable about it though, because most people are raised in an environment where being gay is frowned upon. Keeping it bottled up inside of you isn't a good idea.

 
Well, why do you want to hide your sexuality so bad? Is there a reason you're so uncomfortable with your sexual personality?

 
Well, you could hide it if you really want to, but it'll lead to a lot of stress and problems later on in life. Say for instance you're gay, and don't tell anyone. You go on to marry a woman, but you can never really love her.

Technically yes you can, but you really shouldn't. I'm not saying be all out "I'M *insert sexuality here* AND PROUD!" but just don't be ashamed of who you are.

Most people come out around/during/after college where there's in a sense less prejudice than say middle and high schools. I still hide it from most people. A lot of friends and my mom know, but life goes on xP My mom pretends like I never said anything and my friends treat me the same as they did before.

If you do decide to eventually tell people, watch who you tell. It's hard to near impossible to know who will turn their backs on you for something so stupid.

After that speal.. To answer your question, technically yes, you can hide it your whole life. The better question is, "should you?" I personally would go with no.

 
I'd say it'd be more of a pain hiding it and having to go through all that trouble than just letting people find it out.

 
I think you'd feel so much more relieved if you let it out. If you keep it to yourself, you'd be extremely uncomfortable because you'd always be thinking about what would happen if people found out. I say tell someone you really trust, and just see what happens.

 
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable about your sexuality. Just remember, those who make fun of you, only do so because it's not their sexuality. They probably only are doing so because they are not used to it.

You could hide it, but that would be extremely awkward and difficult. It's best to just let it out. It's your life right? Plus, the people you know in school now, you probably won't see one you're out of high school, plus why hide it JUST so they don't say anything. It's your sexuality not theirs, so don't hide it just because you feel like a loser or something like that.

You love who you love ;)

 
Well, I'm going to get all religious on you, so please bare with me.

According to the Catholic Christian faith, it is wrong to be homosexual, because sex and marriage were created for a man and a woman. God still loves you and supports you, but you are called to refrain from any homosexual acts and withstand the temptations. It isn't a sin to be homosexual, but it is a sin to act on it.

So, if you're Catholic (or even just Christian, I believe), you are SUPPOSED to suppress your feelings and lead a Christian life.

But my liberal ways of thinking tell me that if you ARE homosexual, you should come clean about it. Like SK said, not all on public broadcast, but letting those you trust know how you feel will break down walls between you and make you feel more comfortable.

So I guess what I'm saying is that if you're a Christian, to talk to your minister and try to suppress your feelings, but if you're not of a Christian, to let a few close friends know where you stand sexuality-wise. ;)

 
You haven't come right out and said what your sexuality is, but I am guessing that if you were straight, you wouldn't be making a topic like this.

So I will assume that you feel your are either homosexual or bi-sexual and I hope I am not offending you if I am wrong about that guess.

I think SK has given the best advice. We all know you shouldn't have to hide it and I know you should be allowed to be what you are without feeling judged, but Chris, the real world is full of prejudice and hate, so you need to think carefully about IF you really need to tell someone how you feel right now and IF you really want to deal with a whole new set of pressures on you if you "come out".

I agree that you shouldn't hide your true sexuality for ever. That would almost certainly make you an unhappy person for a long time. But as SK suggests, you may want to keep it quiet until you are older and your peers are more mature and able to deal with your news.

Before you say anything to anyone, think carefully about the kind of person they are and what their attitude towards you is right now and what their attitude is towards people who are different.

If you are a practising Christian, I really wouldn't confide in your minister about it right now. The reason for that is in one of the posts above.

Cinderpelt has given you a pretty realistic indication of how a Christian minister would be obliged to deal with this kind of situation - so unless you want to be told (and to accept) that you are a sin against nature and must supress your sexual feelings forever, that route is kind of a dead end for you and probably won't help you feel happier at all.

You might want to consider how devout / practising Christians might also feel or react if you tell them you are a homosexual.

All I can add is that "coming out" is not something that should be rushed through just to make you feel better for a short while. It's a very big life statement and does merit some careful thought before you make any decisions.

 
Thanks everyone. I honestly read over all of you guys comments, and I took thought over every one comment.

So here's a comment I'm formed through all of you guys comment: I'm a type of person who can take cruel & harsh jokes. But I'm not a person who can take cruel & harsh comments about me. I just don't want people thinking negative about me. And I don't have any close friends at school.. Plus people don't like me as much anyways.. :s

 
I honestly don't know.

It's up to you.

I don't think you should keep it to yourself, and not let your true self and being, like.. be.

You should be you and not care about other people.

Plus people at school won't be in your life forever. =]

But if your not ready, then don't.

It's completely up to you.

=]

 
Thanks everyone. I honestly read over all of you guys comments, and I took thought over every one comment.
So here's a comment I'm formed through all of you guys comment: I'm a type of person who can take cruel & harsh jokes. But I'm not a person who can take cruel & harsh comments about me. I just don't want people thinking negative about me. And I don't have any close friends at school.. Plus people don't like me as much anyways.. :s
Click to expand...
I know how that goes.

Coming out is a "when you're ready" thing. If you're not comfortable with yourself, wait until you are. Know that no matter how tight a group of friends may be, there is almost always one prejudice one. I personally didn't tell people until I was ready to tell anyone. I was completely uncomfortable with myself for a long time.

If I were you I would wait until you're in a more mature setting(upper-high school/college). Most people are more open minded later on in life compared to middle and underclassmen in high school.

We can't tell you to come out or not xP That choice is purely up to you. But speaking from experience, even to this day, being in the closet around certain people sucks. I'm still afraid of the reactions I would get if my mom's friends or people her age would give me if they knew.

Just wait until you're ready and comfortable with yourself, and like I said before. You don't have to go all out and scream it to the world.

If anything you could join a GSA if your school has one. The only people who would possibly know are the people IN GSA, and if people outside the group ask why you're there, it's called "gay straight alliance" for a reason. Straight people join it too. They might also be able to give you some good advice on if/when to come out to your peers. They might have personal experience of coming out at your school.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Well, it's not like people are constantly asking you. You don't have to announce to everyone you see: i am *this sexuality.*

If someone asks you, then tell them honestly. It will make you feel a lot better than hiding it, whatever you are.

 

And you said everyone from your school hates you anyways, so what have you got to lose? Nothing. It will just make you feel more confident. I don't believe sexuality is something you choose, so it's not like you choose what you are. If they care, too bad. It's your own opinion that matters. Even if you have nobody, it's good to know you have yourself.

 
... And you said everyone from your school hates you anyways, so what have you got to lose? Nothing. It will just make you feel more confident....
Click to expand...
I'll just mention the flip side of that bit of advice... if everyone hates you and you announce your sexuality (which we are assuming is not straight) you may find yourself even more of a target for cruel and harsh comments - which you say you can't take.

If you don't want people to think negatively about you and you don't have many friends at school and people don't like you much, do you (honestly) believe that telling everyone your sexuality is going to improve their attitude towards you and make you feel more confident..?

Sorry Chris. I guess you know your peer group at school better than any of us on this forum. How do you honestly think they will react? :D

 
o.o

I didn't say that they hated me. I meant, they're not really interested into me, or think I'm eccentric. It's a large high school.

I really just wanted to post that, and once, I read all of your comments. I just wanted to say that as a big note.

 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Back
Top