Funny quotes/phrases/sayings

[Colortchi]

Do you know any funny quotes/phrases/saying?

Heres one: Sticks and stones may break my bones but naughty se* excites me

So roll me over spank my as* and show me that you like me xD

Now of course that wasn't the original one but it's kind of funny.

 

[Worst.Username.Ever]

^Lovely.

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." - Unknown

"No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids, eat them!" - Homer Simpson

"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality." - Clifton Fadiman

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

"Your clothes'll look good on my bedroom floor" - Cheesy chat-up line, usually said when the person just meets some one.

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother." - Ken Dodd

"Lawyers are like rhinos: Thick-skinned, short-sighted but always ready to charge." - Dunno

"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation" - Unknown

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Whitney Brown

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" - Homer Simpson

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room." - Woody Allen

"You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears." - Geri Jewell

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." - Anonymous

"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken." - Anonymous

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids." - Johathan Raban.

Wow, that's a lot of quotes XD

 

[Keanitchi]

Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional :kuribotchi:

 

[GotchiGirl96]

"Face it: Life would suck without me."

=P

 

[rsmothermon]

Ok this is kinda like a joke.....

its kinda stupid but funny

There were three cows with their moms and the first cow said.....

1st cow:Momma why am I named daisy?

1st Momma:because when you were born a daisy fell on your head

The second cow said.......

2nd cow: Momma why am I named rose?

2nd Momma:because when you were born a rose fell on your head

The third cow said......

3rd cow:blahduhduhbluuh

3rd Momma:Shut up Cinderblock!

Post if you like it or not haha!

 

[Keanitchi]

hehe thats funny

hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

 

[Lady_Shay]

"Maybe you'll die and be reincarnated into something more pleasant" - Fruits Basket

"I just wanted my hat back" - Gil from Pandora Hearts. It's pretty funny if you've watched/read that part that has it

"What was the lowest grade you've gotten in Hebrew class?" "FAIL." -Me and my friend talking

"Never play leap frog with a unicorn" -Unknown

"Watch Fox News or I will hunt you down." -Chuck Norris (I just wanted to quote him)

 

[Mazeay]

"Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God."

 

[Alimania]

"if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." xD

 

[GotchiGirl96]

"I am my only reliable friend."

"I'm smart... you're not."

"I attack you with my veggies!"

"I is a gud righter."

"I'm NOT a NOOB!"

"Creator of my own little world..."

"Obey the Ninja masters!"

Source: https://www.neopets.com/neoboards/preferences.phtml

LOLOLOL.

 

[violetchi_garden]

"I am my only reliable friend.""I'm smart... you're not."

"I attack you with my veggies!"

"I is a gud righter."

"I'm NOT a NOOB!"

"Creator of my own little world..."

"Obey the Ninja masters!"

LOL neopets has the best quotes XD

Joe Jonas is in my lunchbox!- youtube

 

[xxxkiroxxx]

k I made this up.....

Kiro crys over her lost cookies.

 

[Try Honesty]

Life's a drink, Suck it up