Dear laptop (my own one, not this one I'm on),
Look, if you're as good as you say you are on the box, why is it that every time I try to put the Sonic the Hedgehog disk in your lovely little disk drive you freeze up? I mean, I could understand the Sims 3 not working but SONIC THE BLINKIN' HEDGEHOG? It's the retro version as well, it's not like it's Sonic Unleashed or something. I miss that game as well, it was quite fun 'cause Sonic didn't talk.
Also, why the flippin' freak do you not have MS word? IT'S A VERY BASIC PROGRAMME EVERY COMPUTER/LAPTOP SHOULD HAVE. Instead I have Office Word. Now, laptop, yes Office might be fancy and s***, but you didn't even have the decency to give me the proper version. You gave me a 60 day trial. I mean, I could write a complete MASTERPIECE, then after 60 days it'll be gone. Forever. You don't even have notebook, for crying out loud!
Oh, and please stop freezing up every time I try to do something as simple as scrolling down on the internet.
Yours unsincerely,
Grace
Dear Dad,
Don't get me wrong, you're awesome and everything, but couldn't you have read some reviews on Amazon or something before you bought that laptop? Especially since I'm the one who had to pay for half of it with my £185 birthday money. Also, stop being so paranoid about the internet. Not everyone on social networking forums are going to get me in the night.
Grace
Dear Caps Lock,
Thank you for suffering through that laptop letter, I'm sure it must have been hard work for you.
Yours,
Grace