A Story I'm writing :3

[DemonSlayer5050]

Ok, since people have been asking, I'll post part of Chapter one that i have completed.

My past is a nameless chaos. I was initially destined to be a tool used to protect society from its most dangerous inhabitants. That plan failed. I became much more controlling than the scientists wanted me to be, dominant enough to take my existence into my own hands. No one could contain my power. I had gone from society’s new savior to a tainted, malicious angel of darkness. The scientists knew it. So, they found a way to lock me up in a tube with a bizarre liquid that would keep me in an eternal sleep. I’d still be trapped inside that infinite rest if it wasn’t for him. He found me and released me from the never-ending curse I was forced to endure until the end of time. I would pay my gratitude by serving him for all time. I would use my abilities not to my advantage, but to his, I at least, owed him that. Though he seemed to not be concerned with death, I still found it my obligation to shield him from his enemies’ attacks. I didn’t anticipate him to feel any appreciation toward my protection, but I still ponder about his contemplation toward me guarding him. Sometimes I wonder why he freed me. I every so often wish I could ask him, but fear triumphs over my psyche and I lose all sense of asking. I suppose you are wondering what I could possibly fear. I, at times, fear him. No matter what I can do, his authority always seems to reign over mine. The idea of his influence makes me shudder in horror. I may work for him, but I will never deny the fact that his ability to cause so much anarchy is beyond frightening. Even more bloodcurdling than his dominance is his wicked smile. Part of me wants to run away from this malicious anarchist, but I can’t. I realize this is my destiny, to assist a sinister demon in his devilish plots against humanity. But I suppose we all have our quirks. I still remember the instant I met him. Like it all happened yesterday, I remember it. I believe this is where my story begins.

That's it so far :3

 

[hanatchi99]

Ok, since people have been asking, I'll post part of Chapter one that i have completed.


My past is a nameless chaos. I was initially destined to be a tool used to protect society from its most dangerous inhabitants. That plan failed. I became much more controlling than the scientists wanted me to be, dominant enough to take my existence into my own hands. No one could contain my power. I had gone from society’s new savior to a tainted, malicious angel of darkness. The scientists knew it. So, they found a way to lock me up in a tube with a bizarre liquid that would keep me in an eternal sleep. I’d still be trapped inside that infinite rest if it wasn’t for him. He found me and released me from the never-ending curse I was forced to endure until the end of time. I would pay my gratitude by serving him for all time. I would use my abilities not to my advantage, but to his, I at least, owed him that. Though he seemed to not be concerned with death, I still found it my obligation to shield him from his enemies’ attacks. I didn’t anticipate him to feel any appreciation toward my protection, but I still ponder about his contemplation toward me guarding him. Sometimes I wonder why he freed me. I every so often wish I could ask him, but fear triumphs over my psyche and I lose all sense of asking. I suppose you are wondering what I could possibly fear. I, at times, fear him. No matter what I can do, his authority always seems to reign over mine. The idea of his influence makes me shudder in horror. I may work for him, but I will never deny the fact that his ability to cause so much anarchy is beyond frightening. Even more bloodcurdling than his dominance is his wicked smile. Part of me wants to run away from this malicious anarchist, but I can’t. I realize this is my destiny, to assist a sinister demon in his devilish plots against humanity. But I suppose we all have our quirks. I still remember the instant I met him. Like it all happened yesterday, I remember it. I believe this is where my story begins.

That's it so far :3

nice it's kinda, sci-fi fantasy? I likee.

 

[~Maximum-Ride~]

i love it Sango x3

 

[~tama_princess~]

I love it . The type of writing reminds me of the author Stephine Meyer...The one that wrote the Twilight Books.

I love the use of your descriptive adjectives, this really brings the thought and feel of the words beneath the description. Its Visual .

I love it keep up the good work .

(P.S : Be sure that no one steals this work, this is a very unique peice . )

 

[DemonSlayer5050]

I love it . The type of writing reminds me of the author Stephine Meyer...The one that wrote the Twilight Books.I love the use of your descriptive adjectives, this really brings the thought and feel of the words beneath the description. Its Visual .

I love it keep up the good work .

(P.S : Be sure that no one steals this work, this is a very unique peice . )

Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me Yeah I know, I won't let anyone steal it, I think that's all I'm really going to post of it anyway. But thank you so much because I really like being descriptive even though I use it too much xD

 

[Shilo_Tama]

It's absolutely amazing and I do hope you pursue this, I have a thousand ideas, words and emotions to go with them rushing around pointlessly in my head. I wish I had your ability to get them down in a structured fashion.

Best Wishes

~ Shilo ~

 

[DemonSlayer5050]

It's absolutely amazing and I do hope you pursue this, I have a thousand ideas, words and emotions to go with them rushing around pointlessly in my head. I wish I had your ability to get them down in a structured fashion.Best Wishes

~ Shilo ~

Thank you so much! If you have a lot of ideas try to write them first then come back and edit it to sound better. It works really well if you want your story to sound good. What I typically do is take common words or words I use too often and use synonyms for them to make it sound better. Thanks for the compliment and I hope to maybe see one of your stories some day

 

[SpiceRum]

You have some amazing description. I really, really like that about a story, too.

One question: How do you not use dialogue? I get so bored of my story when it doesn't have that X^D.

 

[DemonSlayer5050]

You have some amazing description. I really, really like that about a story, too. One question: How do you not use dialogue? I get so bored of my story when it doesn't have that X^D.

Glad you like

I usually do, but lately I've been reading a lot of first person view books, and I have been trying through that method, its kind of easier for me to just explain things in first person because in a way, it's a lot like roleplaying, which I'm good at xD

 

[SpiceRum]

^ I should try that. Make RPing the story. Interesting... Thank you

 

[White_Roses2]

I immersed my hands into the cool, clear, navy pond water. I watched as the pond altered from its cerulean color to an enchanting shadowy magenta hue. I suddenly whipped my hands from the water. The cherry shaded pond water didn’t return to its original color. I stood up and backed away slowly. I tittered slightly to myself and half-smiled. It was evident that my ability to subdue my powers was very faint. But it was there. I could feel it deep within my veins. I stared at the pond. I would have to do my best to undo the damage I’d caused. I pointed my hands to the pond. I sealed my eyes, doing my best to focus all of my power on the pond surface. With a slight circular twirl of my body, a glimmering array of pink beams appeared from my hands and shot toward the rose tinted water. I watched as the pink water changed back to its glistening indigo self. I grinned crookedly and began to walk away from the pond.

I like the start but too many sentences start with I, see? ^^^

 

[x.:DragonFire:.x9705]

This was bumped. It's been five months since the last post, and a "bumped topic" is a topic that a post has not been made withen the last 3 months.

 

[Cinderpelt]

~ This topic has been bumped. o;

Please do not post in topics more than three months old, thanks! ^^

*closed*