A Sneak Peak of my Story!

[CuteDancingBailey]

On the Run

It was late at night, we were all running, from the life we feared was ahead.It was just me, Maggie, Johnathen, and our ten month old sister Aroara. We were hiding in the forest, where it was dark, and where they couldn't find us. Johnathen took a deep sigh, and sat back on a pile of old, rustling leaves. "Alexa, I sure do hope you know where were going." Johnathen said with a huff and a puff. "John, I wish I did, but we just have to keep going unti I feel that were safe. And then we have to stay hidden from the police, surely they'd be looking for four missing orphans." I said staring down at the baby I held in my arms. Johnathen then looked over at baby Aroara also. He saw that she was almost asleep. He hopped up, piling leaves as quietly as he could, so we could not be heard. He made a little pallet out of leaves for Aroara. I lay her down in this little bed, hoping that she would sleep. Sure enough she did. Maggie being the little girl she is, got very tired, and lay her little head down on me, and went to sleep. I grabbed a blanket out of my backpack, and lay it over her. I kissed her forehead, and ley myself down on the hard and cold forest floor. Johnathen felt it was his job was to keep a look out for danger for atleast an hour after my sisters and I fall asleep. I fall asleep, with hopes for a better tomorrow.

So, what do ya think? It's just a little peek of the beginning.

Here are the character ages and names.

Alexa~(the one telling the story) Is 11.

Johnathen~He thinks he has to watch out for his sisters. He is nine years old.

Maggie~She always has the sweet word to sa, and she is the one who has the power that protects them all. Her magic, force feild, wind power and ice power. She is four years old.

Aroara~Aroara is the one who holds what the person that is following them wants. Her amulet that her mother and father put on her before they died.

 

[gotchi_grl]

Really good! I luv it! but who r they running from & why

 

[CuteDancingBailey]

Aroara, the baby, has an amulet, that her mother and father gave her, It holds alot of power, more powerful that Maggies powers.

This thing that is after them, is after this amulet, and Aroara. Because the only way they can get this amulet to work for them, is if they kill Aroara, the one who holds the amulet.

No one knows what their hiding from, all they know is before their mom and dad parished, they yelled out "Run kids, its going after you next!" So they did what their parents said.

Alexa is the one who can tell if it is near, or if they are okay.

Oh and thanks for saying you like!

 

[gotchi_grl]

thanks! that helps. again good story

 

[CuteDancingBailey]

I'm going to add a bit to my story sneak peek now!

I woke up, maybe around six in the morning, and we maybe fell asleep at ten last night. I gently put Maggies little head down on a pillow of leaves. She tossed and turned a bit, but she kept sleeping. Johnathen had already woke up, and he had headed of to a nearby waterfall to wash up. I stood up and streched and looked down at Aroara. She wasn't there. 'Mabye John took her with him to the waterfall?' I thought wonderingly to myself. I crouched down next to Maggie and shook her a little bit, trying to wake her up. She rolled over and looked at me. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She ywaned and held her arms out to me to carry her over to where we were going. I picked her up and hugged her. I walked over to the waterfall with her, while thoughs ran through my head. 'What if someone took Maggie, or Aroara away from us, what is I was the only one left here?' I knew the others were thinking these things to. I started getting closer to the waterfall, and saw and image standing in front of the waterfall. I ran over to them. It was Johnathen, and sure enough he had Aroara in his arms. "Good morning John!" I said with a cheerful grin for the first time since our parents died. He shrugged and said hello back to me, and then I put Maggie down on the ground. Johnathen told me he had already washed up, and changed into his extra pair of clothes.

He sent mt over to the waterfall's edge, to wash myself, Maggie, and Aroara. I did so, while singing cheerfully to Maggie, to try and make her happier. It made Aroara smile a bit, and for the first time in her life, she giggled. Suddenly, her amulet light up with a glowing light, for maybe ten seconds, and then it stopped. I did not know why, and Johnathen didn't notice, so I went on about my buisness.

I got done washing up, and gave Aroara back to John, and took Maggie with me to go get the blanket I layed out for her, and my backpack. She held my hand as we walked along. Giggling and smiling the whole way. She kept looking up at me, and I would look down at her. With her bright green eyes, and light brown hair. Her dark skin made her look like a little island girl, and her smile like one of the happiest girls alive. It came to me that she looks up to me, and needs me. And what if I am never there for her? But this thought vaiguly passed my mind. I took her over and got our things. Then we called John and Aroara over, and went back out, on the run again. From whatever is after us, and whatever comes our way.

 

[GreenBubble]

The idea is good, but there are about a hundred grammatical errors. Have an older person help you clean it up a bit. Nice idea though.

 

[CuteDancingBailey]

The idea is good, but there are about a hundred grammatical errors. Have an older person help you clean it up a bit. Nice idea though.

I'm not the best a grammatical things though.

This is just the idea of the story, and even parts out of it.

Pretty much a sloppy copy I guess you could say.

 

[Acid~Rain]

Its great! 100/100

 

[CuteDancingBailey]

Its great! 100/100

Thank you!