Yay or Neigh? I'm in a situation here...

[tenniswinner]

Well, yesterday, I went rollerblading with all my friends and a lot of people from my school. I liked one of them, let's call him N. About a week ago, he told my friend he liked me, then denied it. So then yesterday he told me friend "I like her, but I can't like her..." Which made no sense to me. So I just thought, what they hey, let it go.

Then my friend H asked one of her guy friends out for me, and he said yes! But the bad thing is, his grandma died right after I asked and he's really upset. He's going out of town for 2 weeks, and he might not come back. He's really sweet and nice, and I want him to come back so bad. But if I'm not going to see him, what's the point? So, what should I do?

And I still kinda like N... how can I stop liking him?

 

[tamaw/pants]

So your friend asked N out for you? Or was it another guy?

I would say try to gently drop the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Tell him that you just want to be friends and that maybe in the future you can try to go further.

He has enough troubles at the moment so this would be just one less thing for him to have to think or worry about.

 

[pyonchit]

Huh.. you should really figure out what "I like her but can't like her" means. Such as, "I like you, but I can't like you because I don't want to get into a serious relationship" or "I like you, but I can't like you because I like another girl" etc.

Also, be there for your new boyfriend. Don't drop it just yet. If he really does like you, then breaking up is going to be difficult for both of you and something else to throw him (and you, however less so) into despair. Unless he isn't coming back, that is, in which you should say that he should find another girl for him somewhere else and not to worry about you. (If that is, you are trying to break up.)

I don't think you have to stop liking N- just understand that if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It takes two to have a relationship, and a relationship can never be one sided.

I think you just have to think to yourself to not advance on him as a possible boyfriend (this is what keeps me and my second best friend together, I don't try to flirt or push him into a relationship) and say "Even though I like him, he's my friend. I'm going to like him like all my other friends." Requires a LOT of self disipline, I should know D; But the result is good! If he doesn't have to worry about distancing himself from you to make you stay off him, you can be better friends.

 

[~TearsxarexlikexStorms~]

I think you guys have it wrong. Lemme recap on my veiw.

N likes her.

She likes N.

Friend H ask her guy friend if he would go out with tenniswinner

Guy friend says yes

Tenniswinner happy

Guy goes away for a little while

Tenniswinner misses him

Tenniswinner can't get over N.

Am I right?

 

[Broken~Wings]

I think you guys have it wrong. Lemme recap on my veiw.
N likes her.

She likes N.

Friend H ask her guy friend if he would go out with tenniswinner

Guy friend says yes

Tenniswinner happy

Guy goes away for a little while

Tenniswinner misses him

Tenniswinner can't get over N.

Am I right?

Wait wait wait. My veiw!

TW likes N.

N likes her.

N says he likes her but he can't like her.

TW's friend H asked out a different guy to go out with TW.

The different guy says yes.

Different guy goes away for two weeks, might not come back.

TW is sad.

Tw can't get over N, the guy she liked in the first place.

 

Yeah, it might be the same thing you said Storms but eh, I don't understand anything today...

Broken~Wings

 

[GotchiGirl96]

Ok, ok, hold up. I think what she's saying is that her friend asked out another guy for her, he said yes, she likes him but also likes N still and she wants to know what she can do to get over N.

Well, if you ask me it seems that you don't really want to go out with this other guy. It seems like a bad time to break up, since he has just suffered from a tragic loss, but when he comes back, let him down easy. Say you just want to be friends. Then you can go find out about the "I can't like her" thing.

Maybe ask out N?

 

[tenniswinner]

ROFL, Broken~Wings your right. There's two guys; let's call the one I'm going out with C. So there's N and C. N was the one who said he liked me, and C is the one I'm going out with.

If I would break up with him now, he would be crushed. I think he needs me there for him. This is my first boyfriend anyways, so I'm trying to make this last as long as I can. I hope he doesn't break up with me...

I'm kind of worried about N though. Well... when he got to the rollerblading place, he didn't skate at all; he just hung out with his friends. Then when the word got out that C said yes, he followed me everywhere I went and he actually said bye to me when he left. (he never even talked to me before). I don't want him to think that I forgot about him... how do I be his friend without making it too awkward?

 

[tamtamkitty07]

Well, this is a toughie, but act normal, and after a while if he is acting weird and all say "Is there something wrong? Is it because I am going out with C?" and have a talk. Include the fact that you hate things being akward between you guys, and you want to respect his feelings.

If he is still acting weird, don't worry, surely he'll snap out of his attitude. But also if you truely like N and want to go out with him, calmly explain this to C and tell him your truely sorry. (If you plan to break up with him.)

Hopefully everything works out, give it time.

(Oh yea TW I love that "faking a smile with coffee to go" quote, did you make that up or is it from a song or something?)

 

[tenniswinner]

Well, this is a toughie, but act normal, and after a while if he is acting weird and all say "Is there something wrong? Is it because I am going out with C?" and have a talk. Include the fact that you hate things being akward between you guys, and you want to respect his feelings.
If he is still acting weird, don't worry, surely he'll snap out of his attitude. But also if you truely like N and want to go out with him, calmly explain this to C and tell him your truely sorry. (If you plan to break up with him.)

Hopefully everything works out, give it time.

(Oh yea TW I love that "faking a smile with coffee to go" quote, did you make that up or is it from a song or something?)

Thanks. I've never had anyone like me before, and to have N admit it was a bit shocking, but then he went a denied it which really disappointed me.

And the quote is from the song "bad day" by Daniel Powter. One of my favorites.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

But why are you going out with C? Did you want to or did your friend just ask him out of nowhere? If I were you, I'd break up with C and ask N out.

 

[tenniswinner]

I asked N out about a week ago, and he said no. That's why I'm so confused about all this.

And I'm going out with C because he's really nice and sweet and he's having a hard time right now and I need to be there for him.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

Ok, but who do you like more? N or C?

 

[tenniswinner]

I'm not sure. I don't get to see C until AT LEAST two weeks from now, and yet I get to see N just about every day at school. But N is just acting really odd and I honestly wouldn't like a boyfriend who would say "I love you" one second and then the next day he'd say "What? I never said that..." C said he's really glad to have me so I think I'm leaning more toward C.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

Ok then. When C comes back that's when you'll probably be able to tell. It looks like you're dating the right boy, though.

 

[tenniswinner]

Yeah, C's really sweet. He called me just to say he loved me.

N seems awfully jealous though. Oh well, he's probably not worth it anyways.

 

[Tamasweet2]

Did N give you lots of attention, then once you started going out with your BF, he stopped? If so, do you like him, or do you just miss the attention?

Tell N that you want to be friends! Dont just leave him out!

I REALLY hope I helped, Tamasweet2

 

[tenniswinner]

N didn't really give me a lot of attention, because I think he's shy. And actually, it's the other way around. He didn't say a word to me before I started dating C, and when I was leaving he actually said bye to me, which he would never do. I'm trying to forget about him though. I want to be friends, but I have to make the environment more comfortable. Let's hope things go good on Monday.

 

[Broken~Wings]

ROFL, Broken~Wings your right. There's two guys; let's call the one I'm going out with C. So there's N and C. N was the one who said he liked me, and C is the one I'm going out with.
If I would break up with him now, he would be crushed. I think he needs me there for him. This is my first boyfriend anyways, so I'm trying to make this last as long as I can. I hope he doesn't break up with me...

I'm kind of worried about N though. Well... when he got to the rollerblading place, he didn't skate at all; he just hung out with his friends. Then when the word got out that C said yes, he followed me everywhere I went and he actually said bye to me when he left. (he never even talked to me before). I don't want him to think that I forgot about him... how do I be his friend without making it too awkward?

YAY! I knew I was on the right track, but what was confusiong was that different guy needed a name, so I called him different guy.

Well, uh, I have no idea how to get over N... Sounds like different dude is right for you anyways.

Broken~Wings

 

[GotchiGirl96]

N sounds a little messed up in the head if you ask me.....

C sounds like a really sweet, and caring boy. I think you are dating the right guy if he calls up just to say he misses you. I think that you need to be there for C right now, and forget about N.

 

[tamatalker101]

If I were you I would probably hope he would come back.

I say If you have his email or cell number, drop him a line and tell him, when he gets back you'll be there for him. If he replys saying he's not coming back I say forget about it.