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Pink Mew

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I'm writing a Naruto fic, and i want to know how it is so far. Unfortunately, my sister hates Naruto, and my mom doesn't care. How is it?

~♥Chapter 1: Memory Loss♥~
I panted heavily. Crimson blood flowed down my leg in a thin stream, from a very deep gash in my side. My ninja Star headband slipped over my left eye a while ago, and my hair was as messy as a bunch of seaweed tangled with an otter. A kunai was gripped tightly in my hand, my other hand in my shuriken booster. My eyes glared at my opponent as he struggled to rise to his feet. He had a small bleeding scratch above his right eye, and the skin protecting his wrist veins’ was slightly torn and bleeding. A blood trail separated us, and I knew that he and I could not go on for much longer. A grabbed a shuriken and went in to win.

I glared, waiting until I reached the right distance. I jumped up a good 6 feet into the air, and threw the Kunai that was clutched in my hand at him. It missed his skin, but pierced his clothing, pinning him to the ground. He struggled, yet his attempts were in vain. Now was my time. I flipped over, and landed on the ground on my back. The air was knocked out of me, and in my confusion, I kicked my opponent in the face. He coughed up a bit of blood, and then laid still, his body limp. I think I won. I won, didn’t I? Really?!

I was at the final rounds of the Chunnin Exams, and I had just won! I’m a Chunnin! … Oh, by the way, I’m Rachel Suzuuki.
I"m not done yet, I still have a long way to go. ^^;;

 
its really good! even though i dont really watch nuroto. i've only watched in like 2 or 3 times. anway THAT IS REALLY GOOD!!!!

 
That's good. The only things are that it's spelled Chuunin, and I think you'd need a Japanese first name. But other than that it's great :D

By the way, if you want to change the first name (you don't have to), the Japanese translation for Rachel is Reicheru. :]

 
That's good. The only things are that it's spelled Chuunin, and I think you'd need a Japanese first name. But other than that it's great :lol:
By the way, if you want to change the first name (you don't have to), the Japanese translation for Rachel is Reicheru. :]
I believe it is Chunnin, and I don't really like the Japanese first names. XD

 
I believe it is Chunnin, and I don't really like the Japanese first names. XD
I think it's spelled Chunin... I'm not sure. xD

 

Anyway, good story! Keep it going! ^^

 
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