This is funny--

[wildcat_gal_101]

My friend emailed this to me and I thought it was pretty hilarious xD

SUMMARY OF JUST 'ONE' YEAR ON THE COMPUTER and WHY I AM BLOWING IT UP!

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I've to scrub the top of every can I open for the same

Reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who's about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day

Thanks to you, I've learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I'd be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they're French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 bill in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex offender waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it

Actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way.....

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

 

[Scottie_]

I didn't take the time to read the whole thing, but I'm laughing a little.

 

[fr3dfr3dburg3r]

I didn't have my hand on the mouse

 

[wildcat_gal_101]

^ I had my hand on the mouse xDDD

I was like "Uh, teehee? *takes hand off mouse*"

 

[DemonSlayer5050]

i didnt have my hand on the mouse XD

 

[ZOOMrocks]

^ I did the same thing, except on he laptop touchpad xD I was like, "Um..oops..."

 

[blue_husky]

My hand was on the mouse 0_o

 

[blue♣slip]

That was pretty hilarious xD

 

My hand wasn't on the mouse, it was on my bagel =D

 

[TamaMum]

Oh, by the way.....
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

... Like I care what some South American scientist from Argentina found after a lengthy study...

*proudly and defiantly continues to read with hand on the mouse*

oh but... hey... the shopping mall / perfume sample drugging & robbing thingy was a bit of a worry maybe I should shop on line from now on ...? Wait... I just blew up my computer

 

[.:Charm:.]

I like the one about sending money to the dying girl--I've got THREE HUNDRED TRILLION EMAILS LIKE THAT!!!! I never reply to them anymore. Chain mail is a stupid waste of time.

 

[tamagotchi_pal]

haha..

 

that made me laugh. my hadn was on the mouse.

 

[Pink Craze]

Haha. I'm going toward that to all of my friends who send me chain letters. My hand wasn't on the mouse. It was on the arrow scrolly thing.

 

[tamagotchi_pal]

Haha. I'm going toward that to all of my friends who send me chain letters. My hand wasn't on the mouse. It was on the arrow scrolly thing.

whats one of those??

 

[Skippy~Tama]

I'm going to send this to everybody who won't stop sending me chain mail.

My hand was on my slushie. Haha. -victorious-

 

[sandragotchi]

^ I had my hand on the mouse xDDDI was like "Uh, teehee? *takes hand off mouse*"

Diddo.

I'm for sure going to send this to all my paranoid friends. XD

 

[wildcat_gal_101]

^ That would be hilarious xD

 

[Pink Craze]

whats one of those??

The arrow that makes your page go up and down? There's four of them too.

 

[Sk8ter_Girl107]

xDD I had my hand on teh mouse. My hand iz always on da mouse After I read that I was like "Ohh....umm....opps.....hehe..."

This is going ta be fun to send to my friends who go all "ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!!! O_O" if they get a Chain Letter like this ^^

 

[.:Puma:.]

My hand was on the mouse too.

But I already knew I had insuffiecient brain activity ^_^ ^_^

 

[candygirl93]

To long....