My mom is freaking out about my clothes

[tamakitty710]

My mom has been all worried about where I shop lately. I really like Hot Topic, and I've been wanting to dress kind of goth/emo lately. Whenever I say I want to go to Hot Topic, she freaks out and gives a weird guilt trip. She says "I miss my little girl who was into kittens and ponies." I still love kittens, and I don't really remember liking ponies, but she shouldn't care about the way I dress if I'm still me. She told me that she would rather me be goth/emo than really girly girl, but I don't know if I can really believe her. I don't act goth/emo, I don't like that kind of music, it's just how I dress. I've been talking about getting the tips of my hair dyed, and she said that she'd talk to her stylist, but I don't know if she wants me to do it. I asked her to buy me these black pants that had a chain on it and "hobo gloves"(as she calls them, I don't know their name, but the ones that have no finger cover things) for my birthday, and she didn't buy me either of them. She didn't forget because she went to Hot Topic for another one of my gifts. I asked her and she said "you'll never wear them." I kept telling her I would, but she didn't believe me.

I'm kind of afraid of wearing stuff like that around my family, though. I don't know what they'd say, especially my dad and stepdad. My stepdad makes fun of my clothes sometimes (we've never really had a good relationship), and he'd probably be making fun of my gloves and stuff a lot more. My dad is REALLY worried about me turning goth, so much that he refuses to buy me anything that's black (he will if it's ridiculous if he doesn't). I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything like that (he gets all nervous and weird when I wear black stuff), but I want to dress how I want to dress.

What should I do? I really don't want to be made fun of by my family, but I want to dress how I want to dress (like I said before) without feeling weird.

 

[tamakitty710]

Anyone? I would like some advice

~tk710

 

[~TearsxarexlikexStorms~]

Well, it's your life. Tell 'em that. Say you won't do anything bad, just likt the black. Say that a lot of people wear black, but it doesn't mean they are goth. My mom wears black. I ear black. I am so girl y to.

 

[Tamagirl_Desy]

In a way, your mom's behaviour is actually quite understandable...

Goths and Emos are sterotyped now-a-days, and people automatically think that goths are ''sad people who hate their life'' and emos are ''miserable and sucicidal people that cut themselves''. Since over half of the society see goths/emos in this way, it's easy to understand why your mom is worried. Goths and Emos start off wearing ''goth/emo clothes'' then they start acting differently, behaving differently, hanging out with new friends ect. Even though you have no intention of changing your personality, and have told your mom this, there is no way of kowing whether your going to change or not. And your mom is simply worried, along with everybody else.

I do agree though, that you should be able to wear what you please (for the most part anyways) but you must look at it from your moms perspective.

 

[meowbark]

I really advise you to not follow MY advice but this is what I would do:

Me: You know what mom? Screw off! If you cant handle me liking different things, ignore it! I wont always be your baby girl who likes gay ponies and dolls and stuff!

 

[~TearsxarexlikexStorms~]

I really advise you to not follow MY advice but this is what I would do:
Me: You know what mom? Screw off! If you cant handle me liking different things, ignore it! I wont always be your baby girl who likes gay ponies and dolls and stuff!

Erm, I wouldn't exactly say that...

Say: Mom...I am way over alll that stuff. I am growing up. I am not a little kid anymore.

 

[tenniswinner]

I feel the same. Except my mom's kind of worrying about me wearing makeup. All I'm allowed to wear is eye shadow and cover up, and if she catches me with eyeliner she said she'll make me go straight back home and wash my face.

Well, it's nothing to be ashamed about, because we all like and are trying new and different things. I think you should have a chat with your mom about how you're growing up. I'm sure she'll understand, even if it takes a long time.

 

[baybee-x]

I agree with Tamagirl_Desy about her being worried. But you could just tell her not to worry because when you dress like this it makes you happy, and for your stepdad when he calls you call him back. I know that's mean but he doesn't really have much of a say in how you dress, and to poke fun at you is quite mean unless he's joking.

My mum's ok with this sort of thing because I'm still girly , but when I was about 12 all my friends started dressing like that but my mum wouldn't let me. I don't really mind though because she still bought me clothes instead of the ones I wanted, but I think that was just me going through a 'phase' and after about a week I'd forgotten about it .

 

[-lWeride]

I really advise you to not follow MY advice but this is what I would do:
Me: You know what mom? Screw off! If you cant handle me liking different things, ignore it! I wont always be your baby girl who likes gay ponies and dolls and stuff!

Yeah, maybe if you dont want to earn maturity to do stuff.

//-lWeRide

 

[FOBioheartspete]

I really advise you to not follow MY advice but this is what I would do:
Me: You know what mom? Screw off! If you cant handle me liking different things, ignore it! I wont always be your baby girl who likes gay ponies and dolls and stuff!

pshhh ahahah thats prolly what i would say cause i dont have a good relationship with my mother. barely ever talk to her. haha but yeah my mom respects what i like. and so does everyone eles.

 

[tamakitty710]

Thanks~~*

My mom hasn't seemed all that worried lately, *thankfully*, but my friend is turning emo, and I'll be seeing her in a few days to go to a movie, so I don't know how my mom will react to me hanging out with "emo" people. She really likes my friend, and thankfully she's not judgmental and stuff, but a lot of people my age are becoming "goth" or "emo" and I think she's worried (like Tamagirl_Desy said).

I'll talk to her tomorrow probably. We're going shopping at Best Buy and Borders for World of Warcraft and Deathnote.

The thing is, whenever I try to talk to her about it, she sort of dodges it or acts like she doesn't care. She might not, but again, when we go to Hot Topic she starts freaking out a bit. =/

 

[WhereEaglesDare]

I've been having a similar problem lately. My mom is trying to incorporate a little more into my wardrobe. I don't shop at Hot Topic anymore, but I try to get my clothes by mail order, which obviously needs my mom's approval. She's sick of my "punk" clothes and wants me to dress differently. The punk is in quotes because punk is more of a mindset than a style. Anyway, I too feel like my mom won't let me be who I am. My advice is to talk to her about how you feel, calmly and respectfully, and she'll probably be willing to compromise. Good luck.

 

[redtama]

My mom has been all worried about where I shop lately. I really like Hot Topic, and I've been wanting to dress kind of goth/emo lately. Whenever I say I want to go to Hot Topic, she freaks out and gives a weird guilt trip. She says "I miss my little girl who was into kittens and ponies." I still love kittens, and I don't really remember liking ponies, but she shouldn't care about the way I dress if I'm still me. She told me that she would rather me be goth/emo than really girly girl, but I don't know if I can really believe her. I don't act goth/emo, I don't like that kind of music, it's just how I dress. I've been talking about getting the tips of my hair dyed, and she said that she'd talk to her stylist, but I don't know if she wants me to do it. I asked her to buy me these black pants that had a chain on it and "hobo gloves"(as she calls them, I don't know their name, but the ones that have no finger cover things) for my birthday, and she didn't buy me either of them. She didn't forget because she went to Hot Topic for another one of my gifts. I asked her and she said "you'll never wear them." I kept telling her I would, but she didn't believe me.I'm kind of afraid of wearing stuff like that around my family, though. I don't know what they'd say, especially my dad and stepdad. My stepdad makes fun of my clothes sometimes (we've never really had a good relationship), and he'd probably be making fun of my gloves and stuff a lot more. My dad is REALLY worried about me turning goth, so much that he refuses to buy me anything that's black (he will if it's ridiculous if he doesn't). I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything like that (he gets all nervous and weird when I wear black stuff), but I want to dress how I want to dress.

What should I do? I really don't want to be made fun of by my family, but I want to dress how I want to dress (like I said before) without feeling weird.

my dad doesn't care if I shop at hot topic but he has to be there to see if any belts/shoes fit me. But just tell your mom that you will wear the pants. I don't like shopping with my mom at Kohls/Hot Topic Becuase they have stud belts and I love stud Belts. My dad doesn't care if I go to Hot Topic and find a H.I.M. Belt but as long as I like it and I'll wear it and if it fits. I wanted to buy a pair of fishnet "Hobo" Gloves in blue or pink. But my grandma's like that -.-; For christmas or for school she bought me a Happy Bunny Sweater and she thought it had something red on it and she tried washing ot out but she realized that it was the lips on the bottom one so she took it back. and she wouldn't let me buy a H.I.M. White wallet with chain for christmas for myself > : ( She kept saying "C'mon lets look at another store."But my dad got me a GiftCard so I could buy anything I wanted . Maybe you should get a GiftCard. Also putting yourself as "Emo" can be bad for your health becasue if you do the things that Emo kids do like Cutting yourself, Sucidal thoughts or other bad things. Just put it as Goth. Heres a line I say to my mom :

Me: "Mom! It's my life and I can choose any type of clothing I want to." Just try saying that. I look for punk clothes. My mom doesn't care about me finding clothes that I like. Clothes/items my mom let me buy/get/use: Punk skirt, Stud belt, hair dye, Skull earrings, black and white nail polish. Stuff my dad let me buy/use/get: HIM CDs,Pack of Earrings, black shirts,

 

[tamakitty710]

I don't have a whole lot of clothes from Hot Topic just yet, so my mom is really calm right now, but I keep wanting to go. I figured that before we go shopping I'll talk to her about it.

With the Emo thing I'm kind of Emo I suppose, but not completely. I've had suicidal thoughts but I have a whole bunch of crap to go with it anyways... Like weird psychological and social issues that gifted kids get just for being gifted which I hate but everyone at my school understands so it's no big deal... BUT ANYWAYS...

I REALLY don't act like that. I hate all that kind of music, and all my friends and stuff know that. My mom knows that too.

I have a cousin who's Goth and he's been arrested for underage drinking and stuff, so that's probably why she's all upset.

I asked her about it the other day and she said "I don't really mind if you dress like that, but if you're going to be like your cousin, I don't think anyone in this family will tolerate that." I hope she's not stereotyping or anything either, because then I wouldn't really be able to do much thanks to my cousin >.<;

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

Parents!?!? Honestly. They think that our clothes are horrid when they dress like bag woman... need I say more?

 

[.:Charm:.]

huh, same thing with my mom! She doesnt let me wear anything with a skull on it, and she doesnt like me dressing like a punk!!!

 

[tamakitty710]

Okay, well I'm gonna post an outfit that I like to wear and an outfit that I want to buy.

Wear:: Black shorts with cut bottoms, black legwarmers, black shoes, black top with hood and two sewn-on light pink hearts.

Buy:: Black shorts with chain or black skirt, black and white striped thigh-high socks/tights, black boots, ??? shirt, black fishnet armwarmers, black and white striped fingerless gloves ("hobo" gloves)

I don't know how "extreme" those are, but I really like that style

 

[spongeboby]

Well, it's natural for your parents to kind of get freaked out when they think you are "turning emo or goth". Maybe you could come to a compromise or something? Either that, or over time they might get used to it.

 

[Memetchitamagotchi]

Well, I think your mom is just worried. She doesn't want you to dress like that. I am only 10, and yet, I like black. My mom says that she misses the baby of me. But, your mom really liked you when you liked other stuff.

 

[temari_sensei_girl]

My mom has been all worried about where I shop lately. I really like Hot Topic, and I've been wanting to dress kind of goth/emo lately. Whenever I say I want to go to Hot Topic, she freaks out and gives a weird guilt trip. She says "I miss my little girl who was into kittens and ponies." I still love kittens, and I don't really remember liking ponies, but she shouldn't care about the way I dress if I'm still me. She told me that she would rather me be goth/emo than really girly girl, but I don't know if I can really believe her. I don't act goth/emo, I don't like that kind of music, it's just how I dress. I've been talking about getting the tips of my hair dyed, and she said that she'd talk to her stylist, but I don't know if she wants me to do it. I asked her to buy me these black pants that had a chain on it and "hobo gloves"(as she calls them, I don't know their name, but the ones that have no finger cover things) for my birthday, and she didn't buy me either of them. She didn't forget because she went to Hot Topic for another one of my gifts. I asked her and she said "you'll never wear them." I kept telling her I would, but she didn't believe me.I'm kind of afraid of wearing stuff like that around my family, though. I don't know what they'd say, especially my dad and stepdad. My stepdad makes fun of my clothes sometimes (we've never really had a good relationship), and he'd probably be making fun of my gloves and stuff a lot more. My dad is REALLY worried about me turning goth, so much that he refuses to buy me anything that's black (he will if it's ridiculous if he doesn't). I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything like that (he gets all nervous and weird when I wear black stuff), but I want to dress how I want to dress.

What should I do? I really don't want to be made fun of by my family, but I want to dress how I want to dress (like I said before) without feeling weird.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. exept it's more of my Dad that won't let me... my mom doesn't care!

well, my friend Brittany and I were talking on the phone and we got into a discussion on fassion. We starting talking about my hair (because it's dyed blonde) and she said that it would look better as a darker brown.

I kinda agreed and said it would go even better with a chemical straightener and red tips. I talked to my mom about it and she said that the brown might be okay, but you can use your regular straightener and I'll think about the red tips....

Well, after our dicussion on hair, I started talking about how black looked surprisingly good on me... (because usually I wear bright close to match my bubbly personality or serious personality) I told her that I don't have any more black clothes because I grew out of them and she said that the next time I go to Texas with her, she would take me to hot topic and find my some COOL clothes....

(oh yeah... and it's common for her to talk about the way I dress for anybody who thinks that I might be self centered, because I'm not...)

You need to explain to your parents that it's something that you want to do and make sure that they understand it. My dad didn't really like the idea of me trying to express my emo side but I convinced him that I'm still gonna be his little girl and nothings gonna change that.