Jealous of my cousin....and grades

[Tamagirl_Desy]

I'm sort of jealous of my cousin....ugh, I know it's a stupid thing to say and I bet you're just going to be like, "Well just think about your good qualties!" but I can't!!

My cousin, Sarah, is better then me. She gets better marks, she's a better dancer, a better singer, she's funnier, she's prettier, she's better at drawing, she's better at acting, she's a month older and she's the favourite! Ever since were were babies (remember, she's only a month older) everybody paid more attention to her and didn't ever pay attention to me. I have videotapes to prove it, lol.

I just feel like I suck at everything compared to her. She has an amazing voice (I'm serious, it'll blow your mind!) and she is such an awesome dancer! Everything I am, she's better. And people treat her differently than they treat me....I'm jealous. How can I stop this jealousy?

And, my grades are really sucky. I am piled up with homework, so I'm hacing trouble getting it all done. And when I am finsished, I'm getting low Bs and Cs...and on my tests, even Ds and Fs!! :x What's happening to me?? School doesn't feel that important anymore, and because of it, my grades are changing drastically. I'm scared to get my report cards in a few days, because I know it'll be bad. I'm failing math and music badly...I don't know what to do!!!

 

[wii-man]

what i did when this happened to me, i tried something totaly random that my cousin hated and got really good at it

it made him mad that i was better than him at something

school is very important and i try my best and i do good (my average is 98.8)

you should really try your best and if you really try verry verrrrrrrry hard, someone will really notice and reward you for that

it is an awsome feeling

these are just my thoughts

kenz

 

[-lWeride]

OK, First off calm down. You don't want to stress yourself over your cousin. secondly, you cant really do anything besides think about your good qualities. There has to be something that you are better at than her. Maybe computers? or even be a nicer person? ;]

Now about your school marks. To get better marks maybe stay more organized, get to bed earlier, take breaks and come back to it, or even Wake up earlier in the morning and get your clothes ready the night before so you have more time in the morning to chill/or check over your homework and correct it. Tell your mom to expect the bad marks this term and say that you will do better next term. (Make sure to actually do better )

Soo yeah, thats all the advice I can give yew ;] Remember to stay positive about yourself though !

 

[TigerLily013]

Good advice given there above. I will also add that your cousin probably feels she HAS to do better at everythign to continue meeting everyone's expectations. I know growing up my sister is a lot older and did a lot of things better than me, but in the end all she did from what I could see is stress herself trying to be perfect all the time. Now she's disassociated from most of the family including me people who appear to be perfect in the long run aren't, and have a lot of drama and problems down the road after pushing so hard to be first. I have much pity for your cousin. I won't be shocked if they get aa breakdown later in life from all the stress and isolates herself >_>;;;

Just remember to focus on YOU. You can't change your cousin but you can change your actions through organization as said, and to break things up into smaller pieces so it's not as overwhelming. And asking for help isn't going to kill you or anyone. If you really need some help, ask your mother or father. My mom knows I'm not great at essays and she helped me a lot when doing this one for my advertising class in college. Also if you feel overwhelmed and down, take an hour or two break to calm down. I take some small breaks at work when things are frustrating so I have a clear head when I continue doing them.

I rambled a bit but hopefully you got my points.

 

[x.Hatred]

OK, First off calm down. You don't want to stress yourself over your cousin. secondly, you cant really do anything besides think about your good qualities. There has to be something that you are better at than her. Maybe computers? or even be a nicer person? ;]
Now about your school marks. To get better marks maybe stay more organized, get to bed earlier, take breaks and come back to it, or even Wake up earlier in the morning and get your clothes ready the night before so you have more time in the morning to chill/or check over your homework and correct it. Tell your mom to expect the bad marks this term and say that you will do better next term. (Make sure to actually do better )

Soo yeah, thats all the advice I can give yew ;] Remember to stay positive about yourself though !

I agree.

Come on. She can't be better at you than you. I know that sounds funny, but that's all I got. And it's the best I got. =P

 

[*BaBi*GuRl*]

I know that this may sound bad, but, there is always going to be someone better then you. You can't be the best at everything. if u feel you aren't getting any attention at all, maybe you haven't found the think that you are good at yet. Keep trying new things untill you find your passion.

But you can't do any of that untill you get better grades. Settle down, do all of the work you need to make up, go in for extra help and know everything you need to know. You will feel much better when you are all caught up and are doing better in school. Talk to your teachers, they can be very helpful, especialy if they know you want to do better.

*BaBi*

 

[spiffy]

I'm sort of jealous of my cousin....ugh, I know it's a stupid thing to say and I bet you're just going to be like, "Well just think about your good qualties!" but I can't!! My cousin, Sarah, is better then me. She gets better marks, she's a better dancer, a better singer, she's funnier, she's prettier, she's better at drawing, she's better at acting, she's a month older and she's the favourite! Ever since were were babies (remember, she's only a month older) everybody paid more attention to her and didn't ever pay attention to me. I have videotapes to prove it, lol.

I just feel like I suck at everything compared to her. She has an amazing voice (I'm serious, it'll blow your mind!) and she is such an awesome dancer! Everything I am, she's better. And people treat her differently than they treat me....I'm jealous. How can I stop this jealousy?

And, my grades are really sucky. I am piled up with homework, so I'm hacing trouble getting it all done. And when I am finsished, I'm getting low Bs and Cs...and on my tests, even Ds and Fs!! :x What's happening to me?? School doesn't feel that important anymore, and because of it, my grades are changing drastically. I'm scared to get my report cards in a few days, because I know it'll be bad. I'm failing math and music badly...I don't know what to do!!!

But is she a better writer? I doubt it very much. I have read most of your stories and I have liked them all. And I am totally sure you have plenty more talents than she doesn't have. There is more than just her "perfect appearances".

And from what I know you, you seem a better person.

Plus, favourite people don't often remain favourites forever.

I don't believe you should be jealous of her. From all I can see from what you have written, she seems a bit show-offy and a bit fancy.

Plus, in reality, the comparison "better than another person", that affirmation doesn't exist. While she may appear to stand out in a certain area, don't let that overshadow you and lower your self esteem, because you will are better in other areas.

As for your school marks, you must not worry, but try to apply yourself.

Use those not-so-good marks as a way of calling your attention and apply yourself. See what it is you are failing at, and study it. When studying for exams, make summaries at the same time, or look at past exams to see what your mistakes were. Hopefully it is just a phase where you ere just feeling a bit unsettled and you will get back to normal.

If you have any trouble understanding subjects at school, ask your friends and teacher for help. I would be happy to help you in anything you needed too.

Be happy! Look on the bright side of life.

 

[~*Danni~*]

[SIZE=7pt]I have people I know who have tried to be much more better the me at everything, but usually, they are stressed trying to be perfect all the time. No one is perfect at everything, just remember that their is always going to be someone that can do something better than you but, you will always be able to do something better then them. [/SIZE]

 

By what you said in your post, she sounds a bit like a show off, remmber; look and grades are not everything.

 

About thegrades thing, if you really want good grades, I would

 

• Go to bed early and get alot of sleep

• Do not leave homework/projects till the last minute

• If you do really want good grades, tell yourself that.

 

[*LoVeLy.SwAn.23*]

You can not change your past, but you can change your future. These are the words that can come from any one of your favourite TV shows. Your cousin will not last forever, and neither will you. Jealousy is another way to say that you are afraid of someone's advances, e.t.c.

I know you're a very bright girl (and one of the nicest I've ever met). Its not like you're going to see your cousin everyday. There's always better things that you could direct your jealousy towards. Perhaps you could improve your vocal chords by singing for charity!

 

[blue♣slip]

like spiffy, i was thinking about writing....so yeah.

and seriousely. if i had to choose between someone perfect, better, and would exceed to me at everthing, or you?

you.

i'd rather have someone cool to talk to than someone to make me feel bad.

buuuuuuuuut that's just me.

 

[Chatterbox]

Think about it this way: just because it seems like your cousin is better than you doesn't mean that YOU aren't good enough just the way you are. And if your relatives and family friends look at her more, then that's their problem. Try to excel at something that you know you will like, not something that you know OTHERS will like. h34r:

And about the grades: yes, life can be stressing and filled with so many distractions. Just try to maintain a schedule, stay healthy and happy, go to adults and friends if you need support, and just stay focused. If you slack off and think about how un-important school is, it's going to become a sad reality h34r: Make sure you set your priorites straight and you know what's important and what's not.

Hope I could be of some assistance,

Chatterbox

 

[Evicous]

I'm sort of jealous of my cousin....ugh, I know it's a stupid thing to say and I bet you're just going to be like, "Well just think about your good qualties!" but I can't!! My cousin, Sarah, is better then me. She gets better marks, she's a better dancer, a better singer, she's funnier, she's prettier, she's better at drawing, she's better at acting, she's a month older and she's the favourite! Ever since were were babies (remember, she's only a month older) everybody paid more attention to her and didn't ever pay attention to me. I have videotapes to prove it, lol.

I just feel like I suck at everything compared to her. She has an amazing voice (I'm serious, it'll blow your mind!) and she is such an awesome dancer! Everything I am, she's better. And people treat her differently than they treat me....I'm jealous. How can I stop this jealousy?

And, my grades are really sucky. I am piled up with homework, so I'm hacing trouble getting it all done. And when I am finsished, I'm getting low Bs and Cs...and on my tests, even Ds and Fs!! :x What's happening to me?? School doesn't feel that important anymore, and because of it, my grades are changing drastically. I'm scared to get my report cards in a few days, because I know it'll be bad. I'm failing math and music badly...I don't know what to do!!!

Well you really should find something that she can't do and excel at it. And if she is everyone's favorite, maybe you need to be someone else's favorite. Not everybody likes her. (Trust me, nobody can be liked by EVERYBODY. No matter how charismatic I am I still have people that hate my guts.)

Look through all the things you do daily in your life. What do you like and enjoy that you do daily? Do you like playing with tamagotchis? (I would assume so considering you are on TAMAtalk.) Maybe your cousin thinks they are "gay" (hey I have seen it called that ). Find someone else that likes them, and BAM, you have a friend.

Ignore her. Nobody is better than you in every way. If she beleives that, you shouldn't pay attention to her. If your friends think the is better than you, they obviously aren't real freinds.

Well your school problem? It is better to try and fail than to not try at all. If you just give up everyone will look upon you worse. If you try and can't do it at least you can say "Hey, I may suck at math, but at least I tried. What about you guys that didn't try because you thought it was to hard?" See. I wouldn't suggest saying that outloud because people will look at you wierd.

Also with school, don't procrastinate. You will end up never doing it. Trust me. I am very... enlightened... in the art of procrastination. It is not good to do. If you finish a report the day it is assigned, you won't have to deal with it when your other teacher assigns you an essay due the next day, the day before the report is due.

Work smart and there is barely any way you can get behind on your homework. But the only exception is jerk teachers.(had to censor it. You know what I meant.)

 

[tosakatchigal]

Is she better at tamagotchis? Is she better at writting? Find something that she sucks at and maybe you might be better at it!! Hope this helps...

 

[Turi]

Hmm, well first I think you might need to talk to your parents, and speak up and tell them you're not feeling.. happy. But really, if you want to get good grades, and you don't stress over your cousin, you'll be okay.

Besides, does she have green karma on TamaTalk?

 

[Tamagirl_Desy]

Thank you everybody! You've all been such a help...I'm honored to have such great friends! -tear-

Well, I DO love my cousin (don't get me wrong..we're really close) and I have come to the conclusion I'm better at writing than her...that's the only thing I can think of so far, but it's a start. She's a good writer, but not great. I think I'll be able to get my jealousy under-control!

Also, for school, I'm getting really organized with my work. I've been keeping notes, scheduling when I'm going to get things done, and how Ip lan to go about doing it. Hopefully this will help me with my marks.

As I said, I really appreciate all your advice! I love you guys!!

 

[~*Danni~*]

Aww!! I am glad everything is better now TG_D! Glad to help!!

~*Danni~*

 

[spypeeps3]

Thank you everybody! You've all been such a help...I'm honored to have such great friends! -tear- :furawatchi:
Well, I DO love my cousin (don't get me wrong..we're really close) and I have come to the conclusion I'm better at writing than her...that's the only thing I can think of so far, but it's a start. She's a good writer, but not great. I think I'll be able to get my jealousy under-control!

Also, for school, I'm getting really organized with my work. I've been keeping notes, scheduling when I'm going to get things done, and how Ip lan to go about doing it. Hopefully this will help me with my marks.

As I said, I really appreciate all your advice! I love you guys!!

I'm glad to hear that things got better for you, and I hope it stays that way. You are really lucky to have such a close cousin!